Damn it, I'm surrounded by childhood sweethearts

Chapter 138: Year 28_2

He had thought the same in his previous life, until his phone was stolen for the first time.

"Then let’s give it a try. Once the police arrive, those onlooking parents probably won’t be fooled." Xu Qingfan did not share the darker aspects of society with the children as he took Lin Wanning by the hand and led the group to a nearby phone booth.

"Yes, we must catch all those bad guys!"

"Catch them! Catch them!"

All three little girls looked excited, feeling that they were doing something righteous.

After Xu Qingfan dialed the emergency number, he briefly summarized the scammers’ tricks to the operator, "Uncle Policeman, they’re about to successfully scam someone. Remember to come quickly!"

"Thank you very much for providing this information, we’ll dispatch officers immediately," the operator replied politely.

He hung up the phone and turned around to give the three kids an ’ok’ sign, "Alright, the police uncle will be here soon to catch the bad guys."

"Yay!!!"

[Could this make for a chapter of ’Hilarious Daily’ dedicated to anti-fraud?] Xu Qingfan thought of the anti-fraud app from his past life and pondered within himself.

When the group returned to the crowd, a parent who had just received an educational device indeed took her "son" on stage to perform.

"This little friend has just studied with the educational device backstage for ten minutes. Let’s test him now. Little friend, do you have confidence?" The host shoved the microphone up to a boy who looked like he might be in second or third grade.

"Yes!" he shouted loudly.

"Great!" The parents in the audience clapped.

"First question, please say ’hello everyone’ in English, French, and German."

The boy took the microphone and chanted in succession like casting a spell, "Hello hey welly body~ Ami los~ Wabi babu~"

"Pfft~" When he heard the familiar zombie language, Xu Qingfan couldn’t help but laugh out loud.

"Brother Qing Fan, what are you laughing at, didn’t he say it right?" Lin Wanning blinked and asked.

"Does everyone think he said it correctly?"

"Ah yes, yes, that’s absolutely correct." Xu Qingfan laughed along with the crowd while clapping.

"Let’s test math next. What is thirteen thousand and fifty multiplied by thirty-two thousand and eighteen equal to?"

The boy took the microphone again and without a second’s hesitation shouted, "It equals three hundred and sixty million, seven hundred thirty-two!"

"Hss~" The audience under the stage inhaled sharply, followed by another wave of vigorous applause.

"How could it be that, five times eight is forty, how could there be a thirty-two at the end." Xia Xiaoxiao was still using the splitting method to calculate the tens digits when she heard the boy on stage announce the answer.

"He’s just spouting nonsense," Xu Qingfan laughed, amused that Xia Xiaoxiao had seriously tried to calculate it.

"As expected, they’re scammers!" Xiao Ruawen disdainfully watched the people on stage playing their act.

"Brother Qing Fan, do you know how to say ’hello everyone’ in German and French?" Lin Wanning looked at him admiringly.

"Uh... I can only speak English and Japanese."

"You know Japanese too, Qing Fan?" Xiao Ruawen looked at him with amazed eyes as if she had discovered a new world.

"Learned from watching anime, just some everyday phrases," Xu Qingfan explained.

He wasn’t lying; he had genuinely learned from watching legitimate anime shows. As for the rest, one hand was busy scrolling the progress bar, and the other too busy, too busy to have time to learn a foreign language.

"Brother Qing Fan, how do you say ’hello everyone’ in Japanese?"

"In Japanese, ’hello everyone’ is ’Mirasang konnichiwa~’"

"Mi…ra…san…kon…nichiwa?" The three little girls mimicked his pronunciation.

"Mhm, mhm, close enough." Xu Qingfan nodded approvingly.

"Ningning knows how to say ’hello everyone’ in Korean," Lin Wanning recalled a TV show she had watched recently and raised her hand excitedly, "Oppa ari asseo~"

"I also know how to curse in Japanese!" Xiao Ruawen also smiled and raised her hand.

"So, do you also know how to say Korean curse words?" Xu Qingfan flicked the forehead of the little girl.

All three girls thought of the Korean curse words they had heard on a TV show, "Ah si ba~" Lin Wanning was the first to speak.

"Goose goose goose~" Listening to Ningning’s soft rendition of the curse word, Xu Qingfan and Xiao Ruawen laughed so hard they almost fell over.

Xia Xiaoxiao initially didn’t find it very funny but hearing their goose-like laughter, she couldn’t help but join in.

Lin Wanning adorably scratched her face, her laughter blending with the smiles of everyone around.

On one side were oblivious parents, excitedly waving hundred-yuan bills to purchase counterfeit products after being successfully swindled.

On the other side were four children who had seen through it all and were smugly eating melon seeds, laughing so hard they were bending backward.

Time seemed to stand still at that moment, capturing a snapshot of the absurd scene.

The wail of police sirens grew louder and closer, stirring the confused crowd that had been ensnared by the scammers to turn their heads, just in time to see four officers getting out of the police car.

As the police continued their approach, the previously enthusiastic crowd felt as though they had a bucket of cold water thrown over them, instantly cooling their fervor.

The host’s visible panic made it clear to everyone that they had been duped.

"I’m not buying it anymore, give me back my money!" many who had already paid urgently stepped forward to reclaim their three hundred yuan.

"Don’t let them get away!"

"What are you doing, you want to go catch the swindlers too?" Xu Qingfan raised his hand to stop the eager Lin Wanning.

"Hehe~" the little girl cheekily stuck out her tongue at him.

"Brother Fan, you said calling the police was useless, look, Uncle Policeman caught them!" Xiao Ruawen said happily after they watched the host being subdued and pinned to the ground.

"It’s great to catch them on the spot, but if they had run off with the money, the police wouldn’t have been able to do much."

"With Brother Qing Fan here, the bad guys would never have gotten away!"

"Yeah, Brother Fan, you’re amazing, you could tell they were swindlers with just one look," Xiao Ruawen agreed, nodding.

"Average, average, the third in the world; let’s go, we still have to help Yu paste couplets," Xu Qingfan commented as he picked up the bag containing ink and red paper.

"Show-off," Xia Xiaoxiao murmured under her breath, feeling proud as she listened to the others praising the little rascal.

"Time to paste the couplets~"

Hand in hand, the four of them left Gualv Square, leaving behind them [Little Bear getting handcuffed by doggie police.jpg].

Because last year, while strolling down Flower Street, he had demonstrated his elegant calligraphy skills, Yao Jiping assigned Xu Qingfan the task of replacing her household’s couplets, "Fortune" and "Safe Entry into the New Year."

Speaking of couplets, Xu Qingfan thought back to his last visit to Wu Lingyu’s home, where the doorway was bare, bereft of any decorations; that’s when they decided to help her with the couplets.

Xu Qingfan assumed Li Mei Juan had been too busy with work to manage it, but the truth was that Qiujie Village’s house was newly moved into, and they were simply too lazy to bother at the time.

The group arrived at Xu Qingfan’s family convenience store, which was booming with business as the New Year approached.

"Young master, you’re back!" Yao Jiping’s newly hired female employee greeted them with a smile as she saw Xu Qingfan and the others.

Xu Qingfan rolled his eyes, clearly disliking the nickname. It would be one thing if they were running a large corporation, but it was just a tiny convenience store of a few dozen square meters.

"Mom, we got the stuff," he said, giving her an annoyed look and calling out to Yao Jiping.

"Just go write them when you’re done shopping. I’m busy and can’t attend to you now. The pretty lady owes you twenty-five yuan," Yao Jiping said while tending the cash register.

"Yu, come out for a second!" Xu Qingfan waved to get Wu Lingyu’s attention as she helped her mother pack up the fried skewers.

The little girl nodded, taking off her disposable gloves and briskly coming over, "Brother Fan."

"I bought couplets for everyone; after I’m done writing, we’ll all go to your place to paste them," Xu Qingfan said, drawing Wu Lingyu aside near the entrance.

"Ah?" Wu Lingyu was startled for a few seconds upon seeing everyone looking at her, but quickly said, "Mm, thank you, Brother Fan. I have to go back and help my mom." She gestured towards the inside of the store.

"Go on then, we’ll come get you once it’s less busy," Xu Qingfan said with a gentle smile, patting Wu Lingyu’s head encouragingly.

The little girl nodded and scurried back into the store.

[Her sensibleness is heart-wrenching.] Xu Qingfan sighed, then resumed his cheerful demeanor and led the others away.

...

"Nation’s tranquility, personal joy; Ma Building’s fate is also life, monkey beats thunder, huh? What on earth are you writing, Xu Qingfan!" Xia Xiaoxiao scolded after reading the couplet he wrote.

"This is a once-in-millennium masterpiece, Xiaoxiao, your appreciation for Chinese literature still needs work!" Xu Qingfan said as he laid out a new sheet of red paper.

"Brother Qing Fan defeats thunder!" Lin Wanning clapped along in support.

"Hahaha..."

In the midst of laughter and merriment, they finished writing on all the red paper...