Reincarnated as Shino from Naruto but I’m a Girl?

48. The Great Semen Stealing Hotel Heist! (F / 4-M; Ft / F)

The Hokage is no fool. The number of Sand shinobi allowed to accompany the Kazekage to the Chunin Exams is restricted to perhaps half a dozen. Sunagakure can’t amass their army at the border to the Land of Fire without being noticed, either.

However, like with conferences in the world of my previous life, people love to come early to a big event and network. There’s nothing stopping the ‘Kazekage’ (already replaced by Orochimaru in disguise) from meeting with other important figures in one of the smaller towns between the ninja villages. This is where businessmen, nobles, and lesser government officials congregate to shake hands and offer potential commissions to shinobi.

Lots of money moving around.

My goal is to intercept the undercover sound ninja as early into the month before the Chunin Exams as possible. In terms of timing, the anime leaves things rather vague. It all comes down to fate in the end.

I get lucky.

The Chunin Exams are extremely popular among those looking for clandestine meetings. Some groups come weeks early to talk business, and the Kazekage’s faction is one of them. They’re staying in a posh hotel with room service.

I have an in.

The Sound Four. The elite of Otogakure. Prisoners forced to fight in Orochimaru’s death-battle royales promoted to become the rogue Sannin’s bodyguards.

*Transcript Start*

“I’m bored! These ‘loading screens’ without even a minigame are the worst.”

Their strengths don’t exactly lie in espionage and socializing. They’re all meatheaded fighters with impressive strength, granted. However, they’re best serving Orochimaru right now by staying in their hotel room, not blowing their cover impersonating Sand Shinobi.

The male voice referencing gaming terminology must be Kidomaru.

“Shut up, moron. How are we supposed to relax with your constant fucking complaints?”

This feminine voice has to be Tayuya.

“Tayuya-chan, please! A girl shouldn’t talk that way.”

That deeper masculine voice should be Jirobo.

“Everyone just shut up. Time doesn’t pass any faster listening to this garbage.”

Alright, by process of elimination, that’s Sakon. Or Ukon, I guess, but the secret brother probably stays quiet most of the time, right?

“Can’t we enjoy this last night together in peace?” says someone else, who then gives a wet cough.

Excuse me? A fifth voice? Who is that?

“Sorry,” Jirobo says. “We’ll be more considerate of your feelings, Kimimaru-kun.”

What’s he doing here??? Wait, that cough… As of today, they’re still the Sound Five! Kimimaro retires for medical treatment after the Kazekage’s assassination in the anime. Apparently, they didn’t rush him off the same day and let him say goodbye to his comrades.

“It sucks you can’t come with us to crush Konoha. Are you at least feeling better since your collapse?” Tayuya shows some unexpected empathy.

“I am feeling a bit better. Kabuto-kun said my symptoms have receded, but my condition can worsen at any time. I’m… as I am, I’m a liability to the mission.”

“Shit, dude,” Kidomaru says.

“Hey, Kimimaru-kun. If this is your last day with us… wanna fuck, for old times’ sake?”

Shit, I really am a lucky bitch! How did I earn this much good karma?

“Tayuya-chan! How can you say such a thing?” Jirobo says.

“Girls get horny too, dickhead.”

“What if you get pregnant?”

“Pighead! Fatso! Why didn’t you think about that last time you came inside? Orochimaru-sama has me on the pill, dumbass. I’m the goddamn team’s fucking stress ball! Of course I’m on contraceptives!”

“Nobody wants your greasy, used cunt. You’re so loose I can’t feel anything, and it’s always sloppy seconds by the time I get a turn, anyway.”

Kidomaru, what the actual fuck? She’s hot and practically spreading her legs, but you’re too good for her? Or maybe this is a case of sour grapes because he doesn’t like sharing pussy with four other guys.

“Shut the fuck up, asshole. Stick it in my ass if you’re too gay for pussy.”

“Come on, guys. Let’s just get room service and eat together as a goodbye to Kimimaro-kun. I’m starving. And Tayuya-chan, language.”

Someone pulls the service bell.

Short minutes later, I enter the room pushing a cart.

“That’s some fast service!” Kidomaru says.

*Transcript Paused*

Earlier…

“Auntie Mimizu-chan, did you find them?” I whisper.

“Yes, Shino-chan. Eighth floor, second room on the right.”

After getting the location from Kin Tsuchi, Mimizu and I get a room at the hotel where the ‘Kazekage’ and his entourage are staying. My aunt sets up her station, removing her earmuffs and grabbing her notebook and pen. She proceeds to write everything her Earworm hears from the target while filtering all the noise from the other hotel rooms through concentration and experience.

I scan the transcript with notes on the voices’ gender and tone to see why she had trouble identifying the correct group of four. I’m blown away. And here I’d thought the fifth member of the Sound Five would be forever beyond my reach…

“I’ll enact Plan M.”

M For ‘maid.’

I exit our hotel room to find the service staff. It doesn’t take me long to find a middle-aged woman pushing a cart. I subtly follow her until she passes a closet.

Then I grab her, cover her mouth, and drag both of us into the broom closet.

The maid is a healthy woman in her forties with motherly curves but not much flab. She’s a brunette wearing a black and white dress with lacy frills and a red bow over her breasts.

“I’m going to leave you in here a while,” I say, filling the room with my Pheromones and pressing my body to hers along with my erection against her soft tummy. “Nod if you want a quickie and shake if you want to be left alone.”

She nods with a sultry look, and I smile.

I unzip my pants to release the beast. Then I pull aside the maid’s panties to reveal a fragrant, dripping pussy. I plunge inside her honey tunnel, press the maid against the wall, and lift her legs.

My hips thrust into her over and over with reckless speed. I silence her cries with my mouth over hers. Her arms clutch at the shelving, spilling cleaning supplies and rags on the ground.

I drive into her soft warmth until pressure builds in my loins. Then I clutch her ass through the panties as I cream the maid’s pussy and fill her to the brim with my spunk.

“Mmmph!” She moans as her eyes roll up, and I deposit her on the closet floor.

Slipping my member free of her sex, I gag the woman, then restrain her arms and legs. Inspired, I plug her tunnel and my seed inside with the blunt end of a kunai.

“Stay quiet, and I’ll swing by on my way out to release you.”

The maid follows me with lusty eyes as I leave. I don’t tell her the load I filled her with is inert, leaving her to enjoy whatever fantasies she can conjure to entertain herself during my mission.

I return to the abandoned cart to enact my room service sabotage. Pulling teabags infused with Pheromones from my armpits, I drop them into the teapot and discard the untampered bags. Then I sneak insects into the undercarriage.

I briefly consider hiding inside while my clone pushes the cart but decide against underestimating my opponents today. Best to spend as little time in the Sound Five’s room as possible.

The service bell rings.

After briefly ducking into Mimizu’s room to check the transcript, I push the cart to the eighth floor.

“That’s some fast service!” Kidomaru says.

He’s a dark-skinned man with a ponytail of black hair. He hides four of his six arms beneath the bland tunic of a Sunagakure shinobi and his third eye under a forehead protector.

Jirobo grunts. “Hurry up and give me the grub.”

The largest of the Sound Five has orange eyes and three tufts of orange hair like a triple mohawk on his shaved head. All of them are dressed like Sand ninjas.

“Hold on.” Kidomaru raises his arm.

The spider-themed shinobi approaches my cart and dramatically lifts the linins covering the undercarriage in a flurry of fabric… revealing nothing. My insects cower unseen in the cart’s dark corners and folds of the cloth. He shrugs while his teammates roll their eyes at him.

Tayuya chuckles. “Paranoid loser.”

She’s a sexy tomboy with a slim figure and brown eyes. Even in disguise, she wears a hat that keeps her bangs in place. Her untamed dark-pink tresses have one lock of hair between her eyes, with two bangs framing her face with the rest pushed over her ears to trail down her spine.

The big orange-haired shinobi starts grabbing dishes from the cart. I made sure to lace everything with a trace of my Pheromones. I’m also pumping my Pheromones into the room as I stand here. The trick is not giving them too much; I don’t want to alert their suspicions.

I also see Sakon and Kimimaro sitting quietly. The twin-in-one ninja has blue-grey hair with bangs that cover one eye and green lipstick. Kimimaro of the Kaguya clan (yes, that Kaguya) has shoulder-length white hair and two red dots above his eyebrows.

“If that is all, good day to you,” I say as I prepare to leave the cart behind.

“Hold on.” The spider-themed ninja grabs my arm.

“Again with this, Kidomaru-kun?” Tayuya says. “You’re going to get us kicked out for harassing the staff.”

“She’s not the same maid from before.”

I shrug. “Nanako-chan is on break!”

Great job playing it cool, Shino!

“Maids do get breaks, Kidomaru-kun,” Tayuya agrees with me.

Kidomaru turns to his comrades and says, “Was that the first maid’s name?”

Nope, I’m totally bullshitting here. Thankfully, they shrug.

“Let the maid go,” Kimimaro says, and I’m released.

However, as the spider ninja lets me go, something sharp grazes my hand, causing a drop of blood to fall from a tiny cut.

“Sorry, miss. My hand slipped.”

“It’s no problem, sir. Just a scratch.”

Jirobo interjects with a glare at his comrade, “We’ll be sure to leave an extra tip for the inconvenience.”

I sigh with relief as I close the door behind me.

Safe~!

*Transcript Continued*

“At least we know she wasn’t a clone,” Kidomaru says.

“Sakon-kun, get me some tea to calm my nerves.”

“Yes, older brother!”

Ah, so that’s Ukon. He didn’t want to reveal himself until after I left.

“Hand me the dumplings; I’m fucking starving!”

“Tayuya-chan, please contain yourself. Kimimaro-kun, you need to keep up your strength!”

“No, a rice ball and tea are enough for me.”

“I want the soup!” Kidomaru says.

“You’re slurping too loud!” Sakon accuses.

A few minutes pass, then Jirobo speaks, “Does anyone else feel hot?”

“Yeah, I’m sweating my balls off,” Tayuya, the only girl, says.

The sound of moving cloth.

“H-hey, what are you doing?” Sakon says.

“What the hell does it look like I’m goddamn doing? I’m trying to cool off!”

Kidomaru objects too. “You’ve got your tits swinging in the wind, and your pussy is popping for all to see!”

She laughs bitterly. “What’s the point of modesty when you’re all as celibate as monks! Nobody gives me what I want, even when I ask for it. Tch, all your dicks and brains are broken.”

More sounds of moving cloth.

“Jirobo-kun? Damn, dude, you’re even bigger than normal!”

“My brain isn’t broken. And neither is my dick! Miss Tayuya-chan, I’m going to make you apologize.”

“And how the fuck are you going to do—mph!”

“I’m going to clean out your dirty mouth with my cock!”

“Mmph, mmph!”

“Wow, he really shut her up!” More sounds of moving cloth. “You too, Sakon-kun?”

“I can’t resist the chance to teach that dumb bitch a lesson in underestimating us.”

“Well said, brother.”

“Mmmph!!! Ah! Look at this mess you made, Jirobo-kun. It’s in my hair and all over my face! Oh! Sakon-kun, Ukon-kun, you’ve never tried this position before…”

““Attack of the Twin Demons: Multiple Dicks Barrage!””

“Yes! You’re stretching me out so good; I’ve never taken two in one hole.” She moans in pleasure. “Alright, now slap my tits!”

““…””

“You’re a freak, Tayuya-chan.”

“Come on! You all know Orochimaru-sama conditioned me to only cum when I feel pain.”

Holy fuck, this bitch is insane, and that douchebag needs to die! Not even having taught my Anko the Snake Tongue jutsu can make up for the way he screws with girls’ kinks… I mean, uh, he’s killed hundreds and that’s why I’m upset! Yeah, that’s right!

“Sorry, Tayuya-chan, you’ll just have to settle for multiple penetrations,” Kidomaru says. “Sure, I’ll stick it in your ass, but I’m not playing along with your weird kinks.”

“Ahn! Yes! Fuck my ass!” Sounds of clapping flesh. “Harder!”

““Fuck!”” Sakon and Ukon say.

“Oh, yes, you two came so much… Ahn, I’m begging you, Kidomaru-kun, pinch my nipples! I’m almost there!”

“Sorry, not sorry, but I like that desperate, pathetic face of yours best. Nnngh! Yeah, just seeing your disappointment made me blow my load in your gross butthole. I can’t believe I stuck my dick somewhere so nasty! Haha!”

“Out of the way.”

“Kimimaro-kun? Is that a boner I see?”

“Hmph. I don’t do requests, but I hope this is sufficient for your needs. Dance of the Rosebud!”

“Did you just use a thigh bone as a butt plug? Fuuuck, yes! Screw me with that hot boner; plug both my holes! Harder! Ahn!”

More lewd sounds of wet slapping flesh.

“Ngh! I’ve reached my limit. Were you able to finish?”

Gasping sounds. “…Ah, hah, whew. No, I didn’t make it, but I see someone is hard again~”

“You still haven’t apologized! Instead, you keep spouting vulgar language! I’d better teach you some manners.”

Squelching wet sounds of penetrating a creampied tunnel.

“Shit! Jirobo-kun, you’re stretching me so much! Yes, beat my pussy up! This is fucking amazing! There, haven’t I been a bad girl? I need to be spanked!”

“That’s no punishment for a masochist,” Kidomaru interrupts.

“Don’t let her pinch herself!” Ukon says. “I want her to squirm for a few hours before we let her cum.”

“What are you all doing? Can’t you wait your turns…?”

Sakon cackles, “You’re not using your hands and mouth; what a waist!”

“Mph, mph, mph!”

“A slut like this doesn’t have any other use than as a cum-dumpster,” Ukon says.

After a few more minutes of moist sounds, the guys grunt their releases one by one.

“Please… anybody… I’m sooo close…”

The sound of someone stepping closer.

“Don’t. Seeing how long we can keep her from cumming will be a good way to kill time.”

“Yes, brother!”

“Yeah, good call,” Kidomaru says. “Damn, cleanup is going to be a bitch… She’s covered in the stuff.” The sound of rustling cloth being thrown. “Here, wipe yourself dry.”

Then the spider-themed ninja seems to have a moment of post-nut clarity.

“Guys, is it just me, or did we all get horny after the room service came?”

“Poison? Or genjutsu?” Kimimaro considers.

“And why’d they want us to fuck?”

There’s a knock at the door.

“Room service!”

The sounds of ninjas scrambling to put on clothes.

The door opens.

“Are our guests finished with tonight’s dining?”

“Yes, come in.”

The wheels of the food cart squeak as they start to move, then are abruptly stopped.

The sound of drawn steel.

“Oh, my!”

“Alright, miss pervert kunoichi, who do you work for, and what game are you playing?”

There’s a popping sound and a puff of smoke.

“That’s not the suspicious maid; she’s the original! A decoy!”

Something shatters the high-rise window, followed by the sounds of several ninjas leaping into the night.

“Who threw that kunai? There! Follow that ninja! Don’t let the spy escape!”

*Transcript End*

I enter the room with a wide grin and grab the soiled service cart linens, now crawling with my semen-hunting beetles.

I did it! There’s just barely enough time before the finals, too!

My task was nigh impossible at my power level. Considering their low-Jonin strength, high hostility to me, and teamwork, they were each SS-Rank seductions; SSS-Rank together. A hundred possible scenarios of approaching them separately or together would’ve ended in my death or capture.

Even coming here would be considered an A-Rank mission that Konoha wouldn’t assign to anyone below Jonin!

What cinched it for me was simply that my opponents didn’t know my win condition. Whether or not I was revealed, all I had to do was separate them from the seed-soaked fabric.

Kidomaru played his hand a bit early, letting on he suspected my disguise. I’d have been a fool to go back in there myself afterward. Instead, I untied my maid friend and told her to continue doing her job… after performing a quick Transformation jutsu on her. From the transcription room, I signaled my insect clone outside to break the window.

There’s no way I could evade so many powerful ninjas, so my clone will have to scatter into insects and disperse after leading the Sound Five a short distance away to avoid capture. They won’t find a trace, no matter how long they search with how innocuous my insects seem on their own.

Bonus win, this doesn’t affect their plans for the Konoha Crush. Not having seen the Aburame signature insects, they can’t be sure I was a Konoha kunoichi or just a random pervert Missing-Nin.

“Doing alright there?”

“Y-yes, miss kunoichi. This has been one exciting night!”

“Good. Report everything to your manager, say nothing but the truth, and blame everything on me.” I didn’t leave any evidence that could identify me beyond my brown hair.

That should satisfy the investigation into what happened here. The Sound Five won’t attract needless attention to themselves with excessive cruelty while in disguise.

I still need to grab Auntie Mimizu, disguise ourselves as regular hotel goers, and get as far away as possible before the Sound Five begin stopping everyone trying to leave the building. That, and escape before Orochimaru leaves the penthouse suite to investigate the commotion.

It’s a bit of a close call, but not even a Sannin and their crew can lockdown a whole town’s active nightlife while in disguise. I’m on pins and needles all the way home until we eventually arrive safely early the next morning.

Now, to enjoy my absolute haul of a treasure trove!

*Altered Nature-Transformation Template Fragment Salvaged!*

*Altered Nature-Transformation Template Fragment Salvaged!*

*Altered Nature-Transformation Template Fragment Salvaged!*

*Altered Nature-Transformation Template Fragment Salvaged!*

*Amalgam Bloodline Acquired!*

*Amalgam Kekkei Genkai Template Acquired!* 

*Diluted Kaguya Bloodline Acquired!*

*Macabre Bone Pulse Kekkei Genkai Template Acquired!* 

Jackpot!