The Simulacrum

~Chapter 147~ Part 1

It was late in the afternoon when I returned home, and as I sat down on the corner of my bed, I couldn't help but sigh in mild melancholy. It was hard to quantify just how efficient my life was compared to the average person's. Granted, the 'Average Joe' didn't have to contend with magical shenanigans and extra-dimensional entities weaving fiction into a literal reality, but let's put all of that aside and look at things from a more practical perspective.

I didn't need to sleep. Considering that a normal person would spend about seven or eight hours sleeping, that already meant I was about thirty percent more 'efficient' than the norm. Then, I could Phase around, which cut down on the time usually wasted on travelling from point A to point B. I never had to take care of common household chores because of the invisible ninja maids, nor did I even have to worry about groceries or running out of common household items, like toothpaste or toilet paper.

And now, on top of all that, I had a family of sorts, with my sisters and 'mother' being enthusiastic about cooking (or in some cases, learning how to cook anything more complex than boiled eggs), so lately I didn't even have to worry about food preparation and/or ordering takeouts.

All of that combined meant that I was, on paper, incredibly time-efficient, yet there just never seemed to be an end to things for me to do. Or things I had to postpone. Or things I could no longer postpone.

It was that last bit that was relevant to the current situation, but before I'd get to it, let me say this: Holy crap, just how bloody impossible would my life be if it wasn't so time-efficient? Freaking hell in a handbasket, just imagining it gave me shivers!

Now, about that 'postponing' bit…

As much as I hated to admit it, I had an ever-so-slight procrastination problem. It had already manifested a few times when it came to dealing with stuff I really, really didn't want to do (such as deciding Percival's fate before he made the choice for me), and even though I was aware of the issue, habits were hard to change. It required mental discipline, and between all my other obligations, there were still some things I was secretly happy to let slip through the cracks. Unfortunately, there was only so long until I could delay the inevitable no longer, and today was one of those days.

Heaving a sigh again, I stood up and used one of my many phantom limbs to activate my Leoformer. By the way, weird as that might've sounded, I had no idea how many of them I had. Phantom limbs, I meant, not Leoformers. Since they were invisible, it was hard to keep track of them, and after counting to around fifteen, I always messed up, and… This was not important.

"I'm just stalling again, aren't I?" I muttered as my outfit flashed and got replaced by my Polemos gear.

First off, I circled my shoulders a bit so that the breastplate settled on me, and then shook my legs to get the greaves in place. I designed this outfit in a hurry during my first encounter with Teeny and the whole memory implant hubbub, and so it never fit me one hundred percent perfectly the same way as my Lion Knight armour or my Bel tailcoat did. I should've adjusted it ages ago, but I'd been planning to make some minor changes to the Leoformer's enhancement arrays one of these days, and I figured I would take care of both of those things at the same time. Then, because I never got around to doing the latter, I kept postponing the former and… I guess I could add this one onto the 'things I procrastinated about' pile.

Sweeping that thought under a mental rug for now, I considered leaving right away, but then I checked the time. With a click of my tongue, I headed downstairs instead.

"Hey, Snowy?" I called out towards the kitchen, but the one showing up was Penny instead.

"Yes, Brooo…?!" For the record, she wasn't trying to be hip; she was just startled by my appearance and forgot to finish the word. "Why are you dressed like that? Is there a problem?"

"No, I'm just planning to visit the Elysium, and I don't think I'll be back by dinner." I peeked into the kitchen, but there wasn't anyone else inside. "Where's Snowy and Tajana?"

"In her room." By that, she probably meant the guest room, and she followed it up with a pout. "They said they had something to discuss in private."

Tempted, I Far Glanced at them, but the two of them were having a perfectly normal discussion about clothes and accessories. Girly stuff, with maybe some slightly racier remarks about whether bare backs or showing butts was more tantalizing. So… Seducer stuff? In any case, I kind of understood why they left Penny out now; my knightly sister was admittedly a bit of a kid when it came to stuff like this.

"Oh well," I shrugged. "Tell them I might be late, so you can have dinner without me."

"Okay." Seeing that she was still a little sullen, I reached out and rubbed the top of her head. "H-Hauu! B-Brother!"

"Nobody's watching, so it's fine," I told her with a cheeky grin. "Brothers are obligated to headpat their little sisters when they are down, so cheer up, kiddo."

"I'm not little!" she fumed with her cheeks puffed up, only to shudder and freeze when there was a strange sound coming from the kitchen. "Oh no! The water's going to get burned!"

With that, she escaped through the door. For the record, I had no idea if what she said was a joke, an exaggeration, or even scientifically possible. I concluded that maybe not eating dinner at home today was for the best and I turned to the teleport closet. It was best to be consistent, so lately I've been using it a lot, whether I could technically get away with Phasing from somewhere else or not.

A few moments later, I walked out of the Archon Chambers, as it was colloquially called nowadays. It was the suite smack dab in the middle of Migdál Glaukós, the place where I was staying during my 'kidnapping' and where I had Angie and Josh hole up whenever they were in the Elysium, so it wasn't surprising the name stuck. The place always had at least one Seraphic Safeguard member idling around on guard duty, even when none of us was officially present, precisely for times like this.

"Lord Archon!" the middle-aged woman with a boyishly short hairdo greeted me the moment I stepped through the door and gave me a salute. She was wearing the Seraphic Safeguard's crimson uniform, differentiating them from the usual ancient Greco-Roman aesthetics of the Celestial military, but as for the person herself, I was pretty sure I had never met her before.

"At ease," I told her in a calm but stern tone, slipping into my Polemos persona without much trouble.

"How may I serve you?"

"I'm going to pay a visit to Director…" I trailed off and vacillated over where to start. "Tsephanyah. I'm going to visit him first."

"Understood! I shall lead the way!"

With slightly disconcerting enthusiasm, she led me to the nearest lift, and after humming at it for a while, the elevator cabin arrived and we boarded it. Despite being at least two decades older than me, she was stealing glances at me like a teenager meeting their favourite pop star for the first time, and while I would've been lying if I said it didn't make me feel a bit uncomfortable, I was already used to this. Well, at least as used as one could get to being idolized for no discernible reason.

Seriously though, uprooting the borderline zealous religious attitude the average Celestial had for the Archons was going to be a long uphill battle I wasn't even sure was worth fighting. It was certainly a convenient tool for the moment, so I didn't feel too bad about kicking this can down the road for once. Let future me figure it out later. Right now, I had other things to think about.

Not for long though, as the elevator ride only lasted for about a minute before it stopped near the top of the building, where the chief directors were currently under rather comfortable house arrest. It's been almost a week since I demoted them, using the chaos they caused as a… I wanted to say 'excuse', but it's not like they didn't have it coming.

But that was neither here nor there, and soon I was standing in front of the suite of one Acacius Tsephanyah. I would've liked to pause and give the moment some gravitas, but honestly, what was the point? It was best to just get this over with, so I did my usual bit where I let out a short whistle and used my phantom limb to flip the magitech switch of the door mechanism.

I thought I would find him startled on the other side, but instead, he was sitting by a coffee table in the middle of the room, casually reading a book in his fancy purple toga with a kettle and some cups in front of him. When he noticed me, the blonde director's face lit up and he politely nodded in my direction.

Stifling a groan, I turned to my guide.

"Please escort Savir and Mensah to this room as well."

"As you command!"

She waited for me to enter Tsephanyah's room, and the moment the door closed behind me, I could hear her dash away. I had no idea why she was in such a hurry, considering that the other two were both on the same floor, but I digress.

"Welcome, Lord Archon. I was expecting you."

Eyeing the amicably smiling man, I uttered a skeptical, "… Were you?"

"I judged that you would visit Elysium in the weekend, and I was proven correct." He paused, and hummed a solemn tone towards the kettle in the middle, at which point it lit up and started making gurgling noises. "I have prepared some tea for the occasion."

I continued to scrutinize him, and after a long and pregnant silence, I crossed my arms.

"So if I get this straight, you have been sitting here, all weekend, with a tea kettle at the ready, just in case I would show up."

"I was told you prefer the beverage," he responded calmly and put his book down onto the table. "And as for sitting around, I had little else to do in the past days, so I opted to prepare for your inevitable visit in a way that would result in a good impression." He picked up the magitech teapot and poured its contents into the cups. "I hope I was successful."

Doing my best not to show my true feelings on my face, I morosely walked over and sat down in one of the free chairs arranged around the coffee table.

"You know, Acacius, I don't like you, but I have a hard time hating you."

He blinked at me, trying to untangle my sentence. Meanwhile, I picked up the cup on my side and took a whiff. While it was reheated, it was certainly black tea. Some English Breakfast blend, I surmised. While I would've thought twice if Savir or Mensah offered me a drink, when it came to this man, I was fairly sure he wasn't stupid enough to spike it. As such, I took a sip, and after confirming that it was indeed a cup of English Breakfast, I exhaled softly and locked eyes with Tsephanyah.

"You get a point for the tea. You lose a point for being manipulative with it, but you also get a point for not even trying to hide it. Overall, you're on my good side now." I took another sip to punctuate my thought, and added, "Somehow, you're still the least worst."

"Thank you for the compliment." He responded with a thin-lipped smile, apparently missing my point, and picked up his cup, only to put it down and start throwing sugar cubes into it. This was already a bit too sweet for me, so I had no idea what his problem was. Different tastes, I figured.

"So, since you predicted that it would take me until today to show up here, care to guess what I want to talk about?"

This was my best attempt at small-talk, while we waited for the others to arrive, but he was more than receptive.

"I imagine it's about our role in the new order you're imposing on Elysium," he posited and took another sip from his tea, this time appearing rather pleased by the experience. "You're planning to revive the rule of the Archons."

"In a sense, yes," I admitted with a squint.

"I gathered as much. All of your reforms and Her Grace Deus's declarations point in that direction."

"And pray tell, how did you learn of them while under house arrest?"

He treated my question like it was a rhetorical one and lightly shrugged.

"I kept my ears open. Everyone is thrilled to talk about the changes shaping Elysium in these days."

"Are you?"

"Am I thrilled?" he asked back, and after putting down his half-empty cup, he spread his hands in front of him in a hard-to-read gesture. "I wouldn't use that word, but I am indeed rather interested in the topic."

Since the other two directors still weren't here yet, I prompted him to keep talking, even though it was a question I meant to ask when all of them were present.

"You claim to be well-informed despite your seclusion. In that case, care to tell me what you think of the direction in which Elysium is heading?"

It was a purposefully vague question, yet he answered right away, as if expecting it.

"I'm cautiously optimistic," he stated frankly and entwined his fingers in his lap. "Her Grace Deus's plans to recant the traditions binding the Malakim and openly disseminate the fruits of human technological development amongst the population was something I have always hoped to witness in my lifetime. Granting them political power is something I'm more cautious about; I doubt they could appreciate the value of their franchise right away, but I'm certain the Lord Archon already took that into consideration. As for opening diplomatic channels with the Assembly and this newfangled Draconian Federation…" He paused, seemingly looking for the right words, and finally settling on, "I'm skeptical. As always, I advocate that Elysium's safety and prosperity should come first, and I believe getting needlessly involved in the matters of the outside world is not conducive to such efforts… but I also understand that the Lord Archon is personally involved in these affairs already, so maybe it was inevitable from the beginning."

"… You must have already put a lot of thought into this," I noted a touch absently, and Tsephanyah nodded.

"I had time to do so." There was another pause, and when I had nothing to add, he concluded with, "As I said, while I have my personal reservations about certain developments, I am confident that the Lord Archon knows what he's doing."

That made one of us, but I obviously wasn't going to say that out loud. I also had a hard time deciding if he was telling the truth, or if he was just trying to butter me up while peppering in some mild complaints to make himself sound more sincere. Whatever the case might've been, this short exchange once again cemented his image as the sanest individual out of the three big Celestial politicians.

But speaking of them, just as I was about to give a response to Tsephanyah, there was a knock on the door, followed by a muffled, "Lord Archon! I have completed the order!"

Glancing over, I reached out a phantom limb and flicked the door open. On the other side, there was the flustered Seraphic Safeguard member, but I could only catch a fleeting glance of her before she was practically shoved out of the way by a man in a green toga.

"Lord Polemos! Finally, you're back!" Mensah stormed into the room, looking weirdly hyped up by my presence. "Have the Colossi been successfully recovered? What about the combat records? Are they safe? Have they already been analysed?"

"Dolion, please mind your manners." Tsephanyah somehow sounded more annoyed than how I felt, though I quickly overtook him when I noticed the last person to enter the room. He did too, and nodded in her direction. "Eris."

"Good day, Acacius and…" The woman in the doorway paused and glanced at me, her eyes a mixture of apprehension, resentment, and just a hint of expectation. Savir was wearing red, as usual, but instead of her fancy ceremonial togas, she opted for something that resembled an evening dress that showed off her curves, and it even had a diamond-shaped 'window' on her chest to show off a bit of cleavage. "… Polemos. Long time no see."

When our eyes met, she forced an unconvincing smile onto her face, and I couldn't help but wonder what her deal was. I sincerely doubted that she was planning to seduce anyone, let alone me, so… maybe she was trying to change her impression. An image-overhaul? This late into the game?

Whatever the case might've been, I stilled my face and glanced at the Seraphic Safeguard still outside.

"Thank you for your work. Please, stand guard for the time being, and make sure we aren't interrupted." She gave me an enthusiastic salute, and with a hum, she closed the door, leaving me with the three Celestial bigwigs. Facing Savir and Mensah, I gestured at the free chairs. "Take a seat, you two. We have a lot to discuss."