The Simulacrum

~Chapter 151~ Part 1

My sister wasn't kidding. Even now, I could hear Yseult and Naoren arguing from the other end of the hallway. And this was a bloody long hallway. Weirdly enough, it wasn't even that they were hysterical or anything; they were just yelling at each other like they were trying to have a conversation from two ends of a basketball court. It was freaking weird.

Anyhow, while I was walking over, I used the opportunity to sort out my thoughts a little, and by the time I was halfway there, I suddenly stumbled upon a realization. According to Bel/future-me, my subconscious expectations could alter the Simulacrum from within by filling in the blanks. Wasn't that how Placeholders would develop their background and everything? Was I the one who did that, or was it the Simulacrum's doing? Was there even a difference?

If so, what were the limits? One thing that immediately came to mind was the long-standing mystery of the sudden technological development of the world. If I did that, subconsciously, then why was it limited in scope? If I could fast-track the time period of the setting from the 80s to the late 2000s, then why couldn't I push it further? Why didn't we have hoverboards and flying cars and shark holograms? Maybe it had something to do with the genre, I surmised, and then promptly shelved the whole topic, as I reached the end of the hallway, where Arnwald and Duncan were standing guard in front of the last door.

"Whoa! Thes hen has a body heel ay a lung, doesnae she?" the big guy whistled after a particularly loud tirade by Yseult, about honouring one's commitments and whatnot. He followed that by a curious glance in my direction. "Guid day. Did ye catch tha' boot?"

"If you're referring to Bel, then no, he got away," I told him curtly and glanced at the other Knight by the door.

"My Liege."

 Arnwald saluted sharply, since we were technically on duty, but sounded positively exhausted. No wonder; listening to this drama for the better part of half an hour must've been mentally exhausting.

"Have they been going at it this whole time?"

"Without a break," he responded with a sour grimace, but then caught himself and fixed his face. "Have you managed to discern why Bel of the Abyss would go out of his way to disrupt this banquet?"

"No. Not yet, at any rate," I told him flatly, the white lie coming to me naturally. I mean, I didn't have much choice; I couldn't exactly explain to him how this was related to genre shifts and retcons. Maybe one day, when things won't be nearly this complicated anymore.

"Mibbie he wis juist stoogied? He strikes me as th' kind o' bas wha does hings wi'oot muckle rhyme o' reason," Duncan proposed, but the other Knights shook his head.

"Quite the contrary, Brother Duncan. All of Bel of the Abyss's actions have been calculated to this day. We best not underestimate—"

"ARE YOU LISTENING TO YOURSELF, YOU FOOL?!"

His words were interrupted by a shout coming from inside, shaking not just the door but the very walls of the hallway, and eliciting another impressed whistle from Duncan.

"Goddamit, lassie! Ah huvnae heard 'er bein' thes bludy lood since 'at a body time she downed haf'a bottle ay whiskey. She must've sampled th' bucky at th' ceilidh, Ah bit."

"That's an understatement, and…" I responded on autopilot, but then I stopped and squinted at the big guy. "Half a bottle of whiskey?"

"Yeah. In a body gang, nae less. Hen has th' liver ay th' gods, Ah teel ye." Noticing that I was looking at him funny, Duncan self-consciously cleared his throat and added. "We're skitin' buddies. Kin' ay."

"Drinking buddies," I repeated after him and he nodded just a touch sheepishly. I was making all kinds of weird discoveries today, wasn't I?

Anyhow, that was none of my business, so I dismissed the big oaf with a wave of my hand and reached for the doorknob.

"Whatever. I'll try to put a stop to this. Wish me luck."

"We'll do," Arnwald spoke sternly and gave me another full salute, only to then remain motionless and add, "Please try to refrain from shouting though. My ears are already ringing."

That unexpected request caused the other Knight to crack up, and since I just opened the door without knocking, Duncan's hearty laughter drew everyone's attention in the room, putting an end to the ongoing argument. At least for the moment.

"Ah, Brother Leonard," Naoren greeted me with the enthusiasm of a man in the desert who just found a lemonade stand. On the other hand, I had a hard time recognizing him at first.

While he was wearing the same clothes as before, his hair was now a fiery red, and his eyes were glowing with smouldering blue light. It was kind of like when Angie went full-Deus just before the retcon, just a different colour and without any of the golden flames spilling out.

Standing opposed to him was Yseult, and while she was fully transformed into her half-draconic shape, I had no trouble recognizing her. Her cheeks and arms were covered in lustrous white scales and she had a pair of horns jutting out from the crown of her head of the same pristine milky white colour. Her fancy dress must've been designed with emergency transformations in mind, because it was cut to accommodate her tail, and her outfit was barely disturbed by her form.

Finally, there was Rinne, still sitting on the bed of this guest room and…

"A moment," I raised a finger before anyone else could get a word in and levelled the deadpannest stare I could muster at the highly visible ninja. "What are you doing?"

She blurted out a confused "What?", and it took inhuman effort not to facepalm right there and then.

"Pull your fingers out of your ears," I told her, and she kept looking at me like she couldn't comprehend what I was saying. Heck, maybe she literally couldn't, so I mimed the action, and the light of recognition finally dawned on her face.

"Oh." With that, she finally took her index fingers out of her ears and looked at me expectantly. "Rinne apologizes, Leonard-dono. Rinne had to use a secret technique of the Kage clan to defend against voice-based attacks, and Rinne couldn't hear what Leonard-dono was saying. Could Leonard-dono repeat it?"

"I…" Running out of mental resources to resist the urge, I palmed my face and decided to ignore the whole thing. "Never mind."

"Brother Leonard?" Naoren stepped between the two of us in an attempt to get my attention again. "What happened to Bel of the Abyss?"

"Hey! Don't try to weasel out of the discussion by—!" Yseult cut in, nostrils flaring and her voice steadily rising in volume, so quickly stepped in and raised a palm to forestall her.

It was only at this point that I felt a bit stumped. How should I address her? Until now, we had only interacted on a surface level, and to me, she was just another face among all the Draconian representatives in the Federation. Should I call her 'Lady'? 'Miss'?

"Aw, to hell with it," I whispered under my breath and locked gazes with the ivory Draconian. "Listen, Yseult. We just had a major incident, and I need to discuss it with Naoren over here. I would appreciate it if you could leave for now and resolve your interpersonal argument at another date."

"I'm also a Seat holder of the Draconic Council! If you want to discuss official matters, I have all the right to be here, and…"

"'Main 'en, lassie, reid th' room! Gonnae-no bein' thrawn."

I just realized that the door was still left open, and the big guy was poking his head through it.

"Shut up, Duncan! This has nothing to do with you!" Yseult snapped at him, and… wait. These two were on first-name basis? Seriously, how did I miss this?

"I'm open to discussing things with you," I told her frankly, "but you're currently not in the right emotional headspace. Take some time to cool down."

"I…" She glared at me, but when I met her stare without flinching, she soon straightened her back and adopted a more prim-and-proper posture. "Maybe you're right," she continued with a much more formal tone, and her horns slowly began to recede. I've seen this kind of thing a couple of times when Elly transformed, but the draconic features disappearing like I was watching a video recording in reverse never stopped being fascinating. "I should collect my thoughts before I make a fool of myself."

"Mair o' a gowk, ye mean."

Her de-transformation halted, and she glared at the guy in the doorway again.

"I swear to god Duncan, I'm going to punch that sodding grin off your face!"

He responded with a devil-may-care grin and tapped his cheek with his index finger.

"If that wid mak' yer feelin' better, gie it a huv a go."

"Oh, you're sooo getting punched!"

Okay, that was official. There was some kind of chemistry going on between these two. I wasn't exactly sure of the type, but with some finagling, maybe I could use this to get Yseult out of here. Let's call it 'Plan Prince Charming'. Hell, it might even be useful for…

"Stop," I uttered and hit the side of my head with the heel of my hand, startling everyone present.

"What was that for?" Naoren blurted out in surprise, so I shook my head.

"It's nothing serious. I just had a stupid idea, and I had to dislodge it from my head," I explained, but it only made him look more confounded. "Don't worry, it doesn't happen often."

Anyhow, where was I? Oh, right. I just promised myself that I would take measures to limit my accidental genre-bending Narrative powers. The last thing I needed right now was to accidentally make this love triangle thing grow another leg. Let's just forget that I even considered pairing up these two for now, and focus on the original idea. Namely, that I could still use our Sir Minotaur to at least get her out of this room, so we could have a proper conversation.

"Sir Duncan," I raised my voice, and he involuntarily twitched and straightened his back. "Could I ask you to escort her outside instead of just pestering her?"

"I don't need any escort," the blonde draconian huffed and started walking on her own. "What I need is a stiff drink."

"Ye 'n' me baith," Duncan grumbled as he stepped inside and cleared the way for her to walk past us.

I gestured for him to pay attention, and whispered, "Can I ask you to take her out of the mansion?"

"Sure, bit... Whaur?"

"She said she wanted a drink, so get her one, or something."

"Oan wha's dosh?"

I eyed the suspiciously innocent expression on his face, and with a sigh, I undid my Leoformer, reached into my breast pocket, and after rummaging through my wallet, I pushed a couple hundred Jen bills into his palm. Duncan's eyes opened wide as he glanced between my face and the money in his palm, and after a while he blurted out, "Kin ah ca' ye boss?"

"I am your boss! Now, scram!"

I mimed kicking him in the ass, and Duncan jumped away before rushing after Yseult.

"Awright, lassie! Slow doon! Ah've juist git an advance! T'is mah treat th' nicht!"

"I told you not to call me lassie, you godforsaken muttonhead! Also, how much of an advance?"

"Enough tae git shitfaced."

"Good. Let's go."

And with that, the two of them left the scene. Arnwald was shaking his head in disapproval, and after a long, dispirited sigh, he turned to the door, gave me a polite nod, and then closed it, leaving me alone with Naoren and Rinne.

"I might get scolded for enabling Duncan's bad habits later," I muttered under my breath as I faced the two, but for the time being, I put those concerns aside. By now, Naoren also undid what counted as the Eastern-Draconians' transformation, and his hair and eyes regained their natural colours. Mountain girl, on the other hand, looked thoroughly disinterested in what was going on around her, and instead she was looking at only me, as if expecting that I was about to give her an order.

"Leonard?" the Feilong patriarch addressed me for the third time, and this time, I was all ears. "What exactly do we need to discuss in private? Have you discovered something about Bel of the Abyss or his plans?"

"Nah, it's not that," I denied with a lazy wave of my hand and grabbed a nearby fancy chair. I moved it to the middle of the room and placed it with the back facing these two, so that when I sat down on it, I could lean forward and rest my body and arms against it. "I just needed an excuse to get her out of here before you two started shouting again."

"I… admit that emotions were running high, but…"

"No buts," I cut him short and turned my attention to Mountain Girl. "And what were you doing during all of this? Just sitting there with your ears plugged?"

To my surprise (though, in retrospect, maybe I had my expectations set too high), Rinne nodded without a shred of self-awareness.

"The conversation had nothing to do with Rinne, so Rinne didn't want to interfere."

"Of course it had to do with you!" I burst out, raising my voice and visibly startling her. "This entire scene happened because of your engagement!"

"Ah, right." As if I just reminded her of something, she slightly shifted on the edge of the bed to face the other man in the room. "Naoren-san? Now that Albion-san is here, should we annul the engagement?"

That obviously took the bespectacled patriarch aback, and he hastily declared, "Lady Rinne! I told you I have no intentions to do such a thing!"

"Stop, stop!" I called out, raising both my hands. "What is this talk about engagement annulment? Haven't you already resolved that misunderstanding?" Naoren remained conspicuously silent, while Rinne only grew more confused, and the sight immediately drew a groan out of me. "Oh for the love of…! You haven't, have you? Naoren. Bro. You had one job. One. Job."

"I… I did tell Lady Rinne that I hold her in very high esteem," he told me in a hurry, and she nodded along.

"And Rinne told Naoren-san that Rinne also considers Naoren-san a precious friend."

"You've got to be fricking kidding me," I groaned again and threw my head back, only to lurch forward a second later and glare at them. "Listen up. We don't have time for this wishy-washy, will-they-won't they hogwash. You're not leaving this room until both of you are one hundred percent clear on the state of your relationship, understood?"

"But…"

"I said 'no buts'!" I pointed at Naoren, and then at Mountain Girl. "Get to it!"

Suddenly put on the spot, the young patriarch audibly gulped, but soon adjusted his posture and stepped up to the woman on the edge of the bed.

"Lady Rinne… I must admit that I'm… Lady's Rinne's most ardent admirer, and—"

"No, try again," I cut in, startling both of them. "She won't get it if you use flowery language. Just say it as it is."

Naoren looked none too pleased by my demands, but he dutifully cleared his throat and gave it another go.

"Lady Rinne?"

"Yes?"

"If I may be so blunt, please allow me to confess that I hold interest in Lady Rinne that's… romantic in nature."

I was just about to tell him he was still doing it, but she beat me to the punch.

"Oh, Rinne finally understands!"

"You do?" I asked with just a pinch of reservations. The kind of pinch you do with an industrial grabber at a junkyard.

"Yes. Naoren-san must mean Naoren-san still wishes to practice the art of romance with Rinne before accepting Albion-san's—"

"No. Stop. I'm stopping you there. Mountain Girl, say one more word, and I'll have you go back to freaking elementary school and start learning the language from the ground up all over again!"

"But… what else could Naoren-san mean?" she blurted out, seemingly running out of patience, and so was I.

"For the love of… He means he likes you, you dolt!"

"Brother Leonard, please don't—"

"No, wait. That may still not be clear enough," I ranted on, ignoring the man trying to stop me and I pointed a pair of finger guns at him instead. "This guy, right here, Naoren Feilong. He really likes you. Loves you, even. And by you, I mean you, and by love, I mean the one between a man and woman who want to start a family. Not platonic love, not familiar love, not ludus, certainly not storge, definitely not pragma, and not even freaking eros! It's love love, got it?"

I admit, I might've worked myself up a bit too much, as I was almost heaving by the end of that, but I had lots of time to catch my breath, because Rinne looked completely shocked into silence, while Naoren was rooted in place with a completely blank expression. As in, if we were in a manga, this would've been the panel where he was drawn in black-and-white line art with two dots and a crooked dash for a face.

In the end, it was Mountain Girl who managed to move first, and she turned a cautious pair of eyes at the mortified patriarch and quietly asked, "Is… what Leonard-dono said true?"

Being jolted out of his stupor, Naoren hurriedly readjusted his posture and tried to feign calmness.

"It…" Then he noticed that I was glaring at him with the kind of glare that made water boil faster, and he cleared his throat before starting again. "Yes. Yes, I do like Lady Rinne in that way."

That confession was followed by a long beat of silence, suitable for a dramatic situation like this, and then as if a switch was flipped, Mountain Girl's entire face flushed lobster-red, up to the tips of her ears.

"Ah… Um… Ah… T-This is too sudden!"

"How is this sudden!" I butted in again, barely stopping myself from hitting my head against the backrest. "He has been courting you for the better part of two months, you dense idiot!"

"But… Um…" Her eyes darted between me and Naoren, "Rinne doesn't know what to say!"

"Just yes or no," I growled, massaging my temple. "Do you like him back, or not?"

"Y-Yes, Rinne likes Naoren-san a lot, it's just that—"

I was just about to exclaim a relieved 'Finally! We're getting somewhere!', but then we were all started by the sound of party poppers and paper horns.

"Yaaay! They did it!"

"Double-yaaay!"

From nowhere, a pair of familiar little girls appeared, decked out in those conical paper hats and blowing confetti everywhere. It took me a second to realize that they came from Rinne's and Naoren's shadows respectively. Wait, since when can Xiao do that?

Whatever, questions for later.

For now, the kids were celebrating so loudly that even Arnwald opened the door again to see what the sudden commotion was about before rolling his eyes and backing out again.

"What are you two doing here?" I muttered, still a bit shocked, and suddenly Ichiko jumped up to hug my head.

"I know Ue-sama could do it! Victory!"

"Party! Party!" Odango Girl chanted in the back shaking an eminently confounded Naoren's hands.

"Since when have you been in their shadows?" I asked, my voice muffled by the little miko's torso, and hearing that she finally let me go.

"Since the beginning!" She declared with a grin. "We wanted to surprise Rinne-san and Naoren-sama during the banquet, and we really thought that everything was lost when that woman interrupted them, but then Ue-sama managed to come in clutch at the last second!"

"Brother Leonard is the best!" the tiny dragoness exclaimed between giggles as she made the newly minted couple hold hands. How lewd.

Stupid jokes aside, hopefully this particular thing was done and over with for good. Now, I would only have to resolve the whole thing with Yseult, and then I could hopefully focus on more important things. Like another version of me running around, and doing who knew what while I wasn't looking.

Speaking of which, he said he was just going to do 'Bel things', but what did that even…

"Leonard!" Before I could reach the end of that though, everyone was startled by the door suddenly being thrown open by Roland, much to the disapproval of Arnwald standing at his side.

"What is it this time?" I half asked and half groaned as I stood up from the chair.

"I was just called by the arch-mage's office," he told me in a grave voice, completely ignoring the delicate atmosphere in the room (or the fact we were covered in confetti and party streamers). "Bel of the Abyss just broke the assassins out of their custody."

"He did what?" I blurted out by reflex, but then immediately facepalmed and whispered. "Right. Bel things…" and exhaled a long breath.

Why did I have a feeling this was going to be another one of those long days…?