The Simulacrum

~Chapter 152~ Part 3

Timaeus's Chinatown, as I semi-affectionately called it, naturally had a whole lot of restaurants serving allegedly authentic dishes from the Far East. After sampling some of them whenever I was in the area to visit the Feilongs' hotel, I concluded that either my taste buds weren't sophisticated enough to tell the difference, or their totally genuine food was no different from cheap takeout I could order for a fraction of the price.

There was no time to indulge in culinary experimenting today, but nevertheless, the alleys behind those restaurants were always a safe bet when it came to Phasing. I already marked a couple of placeholders in the area, so I just had to pick the most deserted and least conspicuous one. A second later, we materialized under the night sky, and as soon as we did, I turned to Mountain Girl.

"So let me see if I get this straight," I started, folding my arms. "So the reason why you were always looking for cats whenever we used to 'patrol' the neighbourhood while looking for the stray Chimera wasn't because you like the furry little critters, but because you can talk to them? Because of your ancestry."

"Yes," she declared solemnly, then amended, "But Rinne also likes them."

"What would a cat even talk about?"

"Leonard-dono shouldn't belittle cats. They are wise and fluffy creatures that see and hear more than one would think. Also, their paw pads are soft."

"Your true colours are showing. You realize that, right?"

"Rinne doesn't know what Leonard-dono means."

"Before you get any more engrossed in discussing cats," my dear assistant interjected, already holding her phone and typing. She waited for me to turn to her, and then she asked, "How many people can you Phase with you right now?"

"I'm not sure." My response made her raise a brow, so I gave it a bit more thought. "For someone small like you and the princess, one phantom limb is enough, while someone big like a Faun or dad-in-law would take two."

"I'm not small, you're just too tall," she objected, and my other girlfriend, who was quietly observing the alley around us all this time, rejoined the conversation as well.

"Compared to Leo, I'm sure everyone's small."

"You're making me out to be some kind of giant," I grumbled, but seeing that Judy was still waiting for the answer to her original question, I told her, "Right now I have about three dozen phantom limbs, give or take five, so I would say I can take about thirty people along. Why?"

"I was just reminded to update some records," she answered off-handedly, while the princess let out a thoughtful hum.

"Thirty? That means you could move all of us, the Knights, and your Celestial guards all at the same time…" She was counting on her fingers for a few seconds, then turned a pair of impressed eyes at me. "Wow. You're like a one-man invasion force now."

Rolling my eyes, I playfully poked my draconic girlfriend's forehead.

"And pray tell, who am I supposed to invade?"

She didn't seem to mind the poking and gave my question an undue amount of thought.

"The Abyss? Oh, and maybe if the Assembly gets too uppity in the future, we can just teleport into their headquarters in Glasgow and take it over before they knew what hit them!"

Ignoring her oddly specific reply, I glanced up at the darkening sky and gestured for everyone to follow after me. Speaking of everyone, I still wasn't entirely sure why the girls insisted they wanted to come along. While the official explanation was that they wanted to 'collect trope data while providing emotional support to Rinne', my gut told me Judy just wanted to be a fly on the wall and watch the relationship drama unfold, while Elly was simply tagging along because she didn't want to be left out.

Of course, I wasn't going to confirm my suspicions by asking them directly; I was just happy that something finally took my dear assistant's mind off the timey-wimey stuff and she was no longer sulking. In any case, we quickly made our way over to the hotel, and after going through the usual motions, we were soon inside an elevator. On our way up, my curiosity finally got the better of me and I couldn't help but ask.

"Rinne?"

"Yes, Leonard-dono?"

"If you can talk to cats, then can you tell me why they like cardboard boxes?"

Mountain Girl gave me a flat stare.

"That's a stereotype, and Rinne is now uncomfortable because of Leonard-dono's racer remarks."

"How is that…?" I started, but then pivoted to address something else, "And even if it was an offensive question, which it wasn't, wouldn't it be speciesist?"

"Rinne doesn't understand what that means, but stereotyping cats is bad. Cat's like all kinds of boxes, not just cardboard ones."

"Is that seriously the thing you're going to object to?!" While I would've liked to get to the bottom of this, our lift reached the top floor, so I shelved the discussion for now. "Let's untangle this later, and find Naoren first so we can resolve this before I meet with Yseult."

"Leonard-dono shouldn't. Rinne told Leonard-dono that—"

"Hush." I put a finger in front of her mouth to stop her and then pointed at the open door. "I'll see whether I have to talk to her or now after we fix this Poor Communication Kills situation."

"Oh, I know that one!" Elly chimed in with a grin. "That's a trope, right?"

"It sure is," Judy noted and poked her phone a couple of times. "Let's hope it's not literal."

"It can be literal?" the princess blurted out, her head turning to face my other girlfriend with her smile replaced by an alarmed expression.

"Depending on whether it's the cause of comedic, dramatic, or tragic irony."

Seeing that Elly was still anxious, I clarified, "She means that miscommunication can lead to dire consequences depending on what the misunderstanding is about. Not properly explaining who ate the last pudding and an innocent person getting accused isn't going to be as dangerous as failing to explain why someone's father was killed which then causes the child to go on a lifelong campaign of misguided revenge, or something."

"Oh, I get it now." The princess let out a pent-up breath, visibly relieved. "I thought it was literally literal. As in, someone would fail to explain something so hard it causes someone to die on the spot."

That was so off-the-wall that it even caused Judy to finally look up from her phone.

"How is that even supposed to work?"

"I don't know, but… You know? In the roleplaying game, didn't Angie say that a bard with a high enough charisma and a string of critical successes could convince someone that they don't exist and then they would just blink out of existence?"

"That's not how things work in real life," I responded in a level, deadpan voice.

It wasn't how things worked in the Simulacrum either. Or so I hoped.

Meanwhile, we reached the penthouse entrance, and for once, Naoren was already waiting for us.

"Good evening."

He greeted us in the doorway to his quarters. He obviously wasn't expecting visitors at this hour, because he wasn't wearing his usual high-collared and embroidered tunic suit, but a loose traditional Chinese robe. Not only that, but his usually free-hanging hair was tied up in a low ponytail and even the glasses on his nose were different.

"N-Naoren-san."

Did… Did Mountain Girl just stutter?

That was already strange, but then the young patriarch noticed that she was still dishevelled, even after cleaning up a bit at the base, and his brows immediately descended into a worried frown.

"What happened? Did you fight someone?" He walked over and inspected her closely. "Did you run into Lady Yseult? I told you that you should avoid her until Brother Leonard talks to her to resolve our misunderstanding." Seeing that she wasn't injured, Naoren let out a relieved breath and turned to me. "Speaking of which, have you met her yet?"

"No, not yet. We first have to make sure everyone's on the same page. Again." I emphasized the last word, and a beat later, I gestured towards the open doorway. "Let's get inside and talk."

"Certainly. However, my brother is here, so…"

On cue, Zihao appeared from the penthouse, looking at us with thinly veiled annoyance.

"Good evening." He gave us a martial artist salute I didn't bother to return and levelled a cold gaze at me. "I wish you would notify us ahead of time when you come over, instead of appearing out of the blue."

"Don't be disrespectful," Naoren chided his brother, but his words did make me send an unsubtle frown at him in turn.

"I would have if a certain someone would just finally get on with the times and buy a damned cell phone."

My complaint made Naoren nearly stumble and he forcefully cleared his throat.

"Never mind that. I'm sorry, Zihao, but our training has to wait."

"… I understand."

The younger brother got out of the doorway and we all entered in a single file before settling down around the table in the living room. It was only when everyone was seated that Zihao sent a skeptical glance at my hitherto silent girlfriends.

"I understand that Lady Yamako and…" He hesitated, but squeezed out, "… and Brother Leonard are here, considering my elder brother's tumultuous love life, but what are they doing here?"

"We're just here to witness this development," came the unabashed answer from Judy, and Elly enthusiastically nodded along.

"Yes! We'll witness everything, don't worry!"

"That didn't answer my question," Zihao frowned, drawing a sight out of his older brother.

"Please forgive him, Brother Leonard. We were in the middle of practicing cultivation, and my brother is still agitated due to the residual inflammation of his blood."

"Yes. His yin and yang are clearly in imbalance," Rinne noted, trying to sound sagely, and failing.

"Lady Rinne's eyes are discerning as always."

Or maybe she didn't fail? Or it was just Naoren being fooled by the pink goggles when it came to her? Either way, I tapped my finger on the table to get everyone's attention.

"Don't mind the girls. Let's just discuss what we came here for."

"Which is?" Zihao asked without a pause, and this time I appreciated his attempt to move things along, even if his sour expression was a bit annoying.

"Some new circumstances came to light that may or may not affect Naoren's engagement with this blockhead over here, so we came here to clear the air and make sure there aren't going to be any more dumb misunderstandings getting in your way."

"Brother Leonard, please don't insult Lady Rinne," Naoren spoke up the moment I finished my sentence, one finger already pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

"Is that seriously the one thing you're going to focus on right now?" He didn't respond, so I just moved right along, ignoring his objection altogether. "Long story short, Rinne here is now convinced that she's not a good match for you because of her heritage. I gather she didn't say anything about that to you yet, right?"

"Heritage?" he echoed me as he let his hand down. "No, I…" He turned to Mountain Girl and continued in a softer voice. "Lady Rinne? What is this about?"

She looked at me as if waiting for me to explain, but I was getting sick and tired of acting as conversation coach for these two, so I poked her leg under the table with my feet to get her talking. It took a couple of prods to get the message across, and after a tense beat (made slightly less suffocating by my girlfriends acting like an expectant peanut gallery), she finally turned to the man at the other end of the table. However, before she could get a word in, Zihao let out a scoff.

"I knew it. It really was about my brother's love life. Hmpf."

He crossed his arms and pointedly looked away, as if the far corner of the room was the most interesting thing he had ever seen, acting like a petulant child.

"Jealous?" I blurted out without thinking, and his eyes snapped back to me.

"No!" Then, after a long beat, came a much less over-the-top, "Okay, maybe a little bit, but that's not important."

"Correct!" I flashed a smile at him, and then poked Rinne under the table one last time. "Let's get to the important thing then, shall we?"

"Yes, Leonard-dono." She sounded eminently unenthused by this situation, but after taking a deep breath, she finally met the bespectacled patriarch's gaze. "Naoren-san… Rinne believes that Rinne is not fit to be Naoren-san's bride."

"But… Haven't we already discussed this before?" He sounded understandably confused by this development. "And what did Brother Leonard mean by your heritage? How come you never mentioned such a thing before?"

"Rinne forgot," she answered frankly, and if it was anyone else, I would've called bullshit. But then again, this wasn't anyone else, but our very own Mountain Girl, wasn't it? "It wasn't until Naoren-san talked about starting a family and children that Rinne remembered that Naoren-san is the head of a Ryu-clan, and so Naoren-san has to maintain the bloodline. Because of this, Rinne is unsuitable, because Rinne is one-fifth Neko."

"One-eighth," I corrected her, and she gave me an odd look. "You said your grandmother was a bakeneko, so that makes you one-eighth of that."

"No, because Rinne's great-grandmother on Rinne's father's side was a nekomata, so Rinne is one-fifth Neko."

"… That's just confusing," I admitted and waved my hand. "Never mind, sorry for interrupting."

She nodded and turned back to the mildly confused man.

"And that's why Rinne is not apparition."

"You mean 'appropriate'," Naoren responded on autopilot, showing that he had spent enough time with her where he caught on to her weird quirks. "But… what do you mean by 'neko'?"

"It's a class of yokai, and…" She trailed off, and after glancing between him, me, and the girls for some reason, she squinted her eyes as if saying that she made up her mind and faced Naoren again. "Rinne will show, and the Naoren-san will understand."

Saying so, she shut her eyes and grimaced like she was constipated. For a few seconds, nothing happened, but then I noticed a faint swirl of magical light around her head. After a few more seconds, there were some odd movements, and then suddenly what previously looked like just some odd tufts of her hair lurched up, revealing a pair of cat-like ears. They were triangular, pointy, and they blended in so naturally with the rest of her head that no one with working eyes would mistake them for one of those nekomimi headbands.

…

But wait. She also had her human ears, didn't she? How did that make any sense? Which one was she using to hear? And maybe most importantly, why was I so hung up on something this silly?

I didn't get an answer to any of these questions, and the conversation moved on without me.

"Does Naoren-san see now?" Rinne spoke in an unusually passionate voice and pointed and her trembling cat ears.

"Yes." It was only at this point that I noticed that the guy's eyes were practically shining, his face flushed and nostrils flared as he stared at her with rapt attention. Then, he reached over the table, and grabbed Mountain Girl's hands with the words, "I naively thought that Lady Rinne could not get any more lovely, yet I was proven wrong today."

"T-That's not the issue, Naoren-san!" she protested but didn't even try to pull back her hands. "Rinne's mixed bloodline isn't suited for the patriarch of…"

"It matters not." He squeezed her hands, and looked deep into her eyes, clearly doing that thing from romance manga where he would've been depicted with sparkles and illusory roses surrounding him on a full-page panel. "Before a patriarch, I am a man."

"But the elders of Naoren-san's clan won't approve!"

"Then to damnation with them! For Lady Rinne's sake, I'm willing to forfeit my position and live in—"

"Hold your horses!" This time I was the one who reached out, and I tapped Naoren's head with two fingers. The experience must've been too novel for him, because he completely froze up with eyes wide open. "You're working yourself up way too much over this."

"I'm not." He sounded just a touch sulky, which was also new. "I'm entirely serious in my determination to abandon my position as the patriarch of Clan Feilong if necessary and take Lad Rinne as—"

"And I'm telling you that you're putting the cart before the horse!" With a groan, I buried my face in my hands for a few seconds before inhaling deeply and looking up again. "Okay, let's start from the beginning. You're worried that the elders and other branches of your clan would object, right?"

"Yes."

His answer was refreshingly straightforward, so I let out an appreciative hum and tapped my finger on the table.

"And it's all about your dragon bloodline."

"Indeed."

"And you have Xiao, who's already adopted into your family and she's a literal dragon. You can't get a purer bloodline than that, right? The solution is simple then; just groom her as your successor, and then once she grows up, you can just abdicate your position to her. The title stays in the family, the clan gets a boost in prestige, and nobody will care about the 'purity' of your descendants, so you can do whatever you want and marry whoever you want."

"That's… an option," he admitted, looking like he couldn't believe he didn't think of this himself. Which, I was also a bit confused about. But then again, they say that being in love tends to tank one's IQ, and being in love with a cat-girl was probably even worse, though I couldn't say for sure, because I only had a sample size of one.

"But what if the elders…?" Rinne tried to say something, but I cut her off.

"Stop worrying about useless things. I've got your back."

She looked stumped for a while, but then her face flushed and she awkwardly faced Naoren again. She squeezed his hands back, and whispered, "In that case… If Naoren-san finds Rinne satisfactory, then Rinne would like to… request that Naoren-san doesn't break the engagement."

"I was never planning to do that. Ever," he declared with confidence. "If Lady Rinne would like to, I'm ready to effectively immediately designate Xiao Xiao as the next clan head and then step down to prove my sincerity to—"

"No, you bird-brain! I just told you that you don't need to do that!"

"Oh, right…"

Feeling a headache coming, I massaged my temple exhaled a heavy breath and turned to the girls.

"Say, I know they say love makes you dumb, but have I ever acted this dumb?"

I meant that as a joke to lighten the mood a little, but to my shock, my dear assistant nodded without an ounce of hesitation.

"Yes, Chief. Lots of times."

"Really?" She nodded, and while Elly didn't agree, she didn't deny the accusation either. "Huh."

Stumped, I leaned back in the chair, tuning out the awkward flirting of Naoren and Rinne, the whispering of my girlfriends, and the constant eye-rolling and scoffs of Zihao, and tried my best to recall if I even acted this silly and impulsive in the past. I was drawing a blank, but Judy probably wouldn't lie about something like this just to tease me, so… Maybe I was an unreliable narrator? Food for thought.