The Simulacrum

~Chapter 153~ Part 2

"Sit down and make yourself comfortable."

Despite our host's generous words, Yseult only let out a huff and continued to glare at me from the other end of the table. It was only when I took a seat along with my girlfriends that she grudgingly followed suit. Of course, by this point her Draconian transformation was undone (because her wings wouldn't have fit through the balcony door) and I couldn't help but wonder about some useless things.

Such as why she had a custom-made flying suit. Did she fly around in her draconic form so often she needed one? And if it had holes for her wings and tail, then wouldn't that mean that there were big holes in the back of her outfit? I was especially bothered by the latter one; I knew from exploring Elly's 'anatomy, so to say, that Draconian tails sprouted from the base of the spine, meaning the corresponding opening for it had to be there. But if so, couldn't we see her butt-crack if she turned around right now? Not that I wanted to, but I was still a little bit curious about it.

Maybe I should sneakily check through Far Sight later, I concluded. For science. In the meantime, everyone got seated around the table, which also included…

"W-What is this preposterous appearance?"

"Rinne doesn't take it kindly to be called proboscis when Rinne could see Albion-san's bare butt when Rinne walked in."

Yeah, her. Also, did my previous query just get answered? Nice going, Mountain Girl.

"Shameless!" Yseult huffed, and so did Rinne.

"Says the one with her botox in the open."

I wasn't expecting a catfight right off the bat. I should've, considering the cat-ears and all, but with how twisty and turny my life had been, I learned not to rely on the face-value of such things.

"Please, settle down," I raised my voice, and it worked surprisingly well, as they both focused on me instead of each other. "Let's discuss theoretically uncovered posteriors later." Judy let out a pointed cough on my right, so I hastily amended, "Or maybe not. In any case, since we're all gathered here like this, we might as well lay this whole stupid misunderstanding in the grave together. Right, Naoren?"

I got no response, so I looked away from Yseult and found our host staring unblinkingly at a pair of triangular animal ears on a certain ninja's head.

"I said, we should sit down and talk things out. Right, Naoren?"

"Ah, hm?" My second attempt finally got through to him, and he hurriedly cleared his throat. "Yes. It would be best."

Yseult eyed him suspiciously, then her gaze landed on my girlfriends, who were huddled together on my right. Judy's fingers were rapidly skipping and dancing on her phone's screen, while Elly was busy whispering something directly into her ear, and their brazenly laidback attitude didn't sit well with the leather-clad Draconian matriarch.

"Why are they here?"

"Why can't they be?" I asked back, raising a provocative brow for emphasis. I've got glared at for my trouble, but that was to be expected.

"We're just here to document the proceedings. Please don't mind us," Judy commented on the side, and the princess flashed a reassuring smile at Yseult that did nothing to mollify her.

"Then what about her and those… those unnatural things on her head?"

In response, Rinne's cat-ears folded back. While I wasn't a catologist or anything, basic common sense told me it was a response that could either mean she was frightened, or about to fight. And since it was Mountain Girl we were talking about…

"Care to repeat that?"

Yep, it was the second half of 'flight or fight' all right. Just as I was about to tell her to keep her cool, Naoren interjected with an unusually fervent expression.

"Lady Yseult, please take those words back. There is nothing unnatural about Lady Rinne."

"But…"

She tried to gesture at the ears again, so I politely pointed out, "May I remind you that you showed up disguised as a UFO?"

"What are you even blabbering about?"

While she snapped at me, Judy let out a vindicated hum and typed with even greater vigour. I, on the other hand, couldn't help but notice that we were going nowhere fast. It was time to get the ball rolling by myself.

"How about we put this topic aside for the moment and we start clearing up the misunderstandings and misconstructions poisoning this conversation." A purposefully draw-out beat later I levelled a dispassionate gaze at Yseult again. "Such as that you're labouring under the misconception that this entire situation is somehow my fault."

"Isn't it?"

The way she asked already implied that she was one hundred percent convinced that I was behind everything, which… wasn't entirely off the mark. I mean, technically all of this was my ill-defined narrative-related reality-warping ability's fault, but I wasn't taking responsibility for it. Beyond clearing up the mess, I mean.

"Not in any shape or form you suspect."

My overly specific answer made her glare deepen, but I had no time for this, so I raised and hand and launched into a monologue.

"So, just to make sure we're all on the same page: you suspect that I have set up Rinne and Naoren here in some sort of political ploy to tie him closer to me or somesuch. Am I in the right ball-park?" I didn't wait for her to respond. Instead, I immediately slapped the table with my palm, startling everyone in the process. "Well, I'm sorry to disappoint, but your entire theory is wrong from the get-go, because until very recently, I was completely uninvolved with the relationship between these two."

"How recently?"

"A… few days," Naoren endeavoured to add something to the conversation, but it only resulted in him getting glared at for a change.

"And I'm just supposed to accept your words at face value, ignoring all the flagrant evidence to the contrary?"

"I…"

Naoren was about to formulate an answer, but I cut him off by tapping the table again, this time a bit gentler.

"Pardon? You have 'evidence'?"

"Of course I do."

Her scoff had lots of bravado, but even I could see that there was little substance.

"Such as?"

My egging made her fold her arms with a petulant look that didn't suit her age. Though again, I wasn't entirely sure about how old she was, but since her backstory now involved a youthful promise of alliance and/or marriage to a young Naoren, I figured they were in the same age group. Since I knew the guy wasn't secretly fifty, and more or less looked his age, it meant she must've been…

"… with Bel of the Abyss!"

Blinking, I blurted out, "Excuse me, could you repeat the first half of that? I zoned out for a moment."

Yseult glared at me, but in my defence, Naoren and Rinne looked just as spaced out while awkwardly staring at each other. Meanwhile.

"… an advanced negotiation tactic, where you unbalance your opponent first. Just like that," Elly whispered on the side.

"Are you sure? To me, it looked like the Chief was just not paying attention."

"No no. This is a textbook example of how you raise the pressure during negotiations. Leo's good at this."

Was I? Elly was reading way too much into this single exchange, but I couldn't even signal her to tone things down, because Yseult started again. This time I couldn't afford to miss her reasoning.

"In that case, let me elaborate: This is all too convenient. You've been consolidating power in the World of Mystics on an unprecedented scale. You're not only the dictator of all Celestials, but you also hold an implicit majority within the Draconic Federation through the political support of the Dracis family and the Western bloodlines under their influence, combined with your rule over the Ordo Draconis. Your only stumbling block in your path of holding absolute control are the Eastern bloodlines led by clan Feilong. Conveniently enough, just as you have solidified your position and started enacting your will in the Draconic Council, he announced his engagement to your direct subordinate, and my attempt to bring attention to this farce was immediately interrupted by Bel of the Abyss, who is known to have supported you in the past."

She finished her monologue with a huff, and her expression looked like she had a flush at the Poker table and could already see herself winning this round. Of course, in reality, she had more like a pair of low cards because she completely mixed up the suits, but I digress.

"Okay, so where's the evidence?" I asked in a calm, level voice. "Because all I've heard was a lot of conjecture."

"Are you denying the facts?"

"What facts? You just listed a lot of circumstantial details and projected your preconceived notions onto them. Listen, Yseult…"

"Since when are we close enough for first name basis?" she interrupted me with a harrumph, but I barrelled on.

"If we're close enough to share silly conspiracy theories around the table, we're close enough for me to call you by your given name. Pray that I don't give you a nickname." I paused for a beat and started again. "Listen, Yseult. There are three core misunderstandings you're labouring under, so let's dismantle them one by one. First off, you think I'm some kind of power-hungry dictator who wants absolute control over the Draconic Federation. All the while conveniently ignoring the fact that I've spent the last few weeks trying to delegate as much of my work to others as possible, all so that I could focus on more important matters."

I said that, but to be fair, my attempts to delegate were far from successful, but I wasn't going to undermine my point by mentioning that. Instead, I paused for the sake of drama before moving on.

"Important matters such as my second point, which is your idea that I somehow conspired with Bel to disrupt your big 'Gotcha!' moment, which is just preposterous. While it's true that his actions have sometimes benefited us, he's a chaotic entity whose actions cannot be predicted or controlled, not even by me," I stated, for once sounding entirely sincere. Mainly because I was. "And finally, the third point: Do you seriously think that I somehow forced this guy…" For emphasis, I pointed at Naoren. "This esteemed sworn brother of mine, to engage in a farce, despite the fact that we're already staunch allies and the strong-arming him into a asinine fake contract marriage plot would only serves to undermine our relationship?"

My lampshade hanging finally jolted the Feilong patriarch out of his cat-ears-induced stupor (seriously, I had no idea why else he could be acting so weird), and he turned a disapproving frown at me.

"That was uncalled for, Brother Leonard."

"But not untrue," I responded glibly and flashed a grin before returning my attention to the fuming Draconian woman. "In short, you don't have any evidence of anything. You just have a lot of baseless conjecture and disparate data points to reinforce your preconceived notions. Also known as a conspiracy theory."

If I had a microphone, this would've been the perfect moment to drop it. Yseult ground her teeth and, after glancing between Naoren and Rinne, she finally took a metaphorical step back and hissed, "So you're saying that the engagement between Naoren and your… retainer have nothing to do with you."

"Precisely."

"And I'm supposed to believe that?"

"Yes." Flippantly nodding, I vaguely gestured in their direction. "Look at them. They make a cute couple, and they have a lot in common."

"L-Leonard-dono thinks so?" Rinne muttered under her breath, looking distinctly awkward and maybe even a little shy, in stark contrast of her usual mannerisms.

"A lot in common?" Yseult scoffed, but I could hear just a hint of uncertainty in her voice. "What are you even talking about?"

"They both like cats," I pointed out with a smirk, and it made Mountain Girl's expression lighten at once.

"Is that true? Does Naoren-san like cats?"

Suddenly put in the limelight with a question like that, the bespectacled patriarch glanced at her, then her ears, and then conspicuously averted his eyes and even tugged at his collar as he answered.

"I… have to admit that I have discovered a certain fondness in me as of late, yes."

"That's great! Rinne can introduce Naoren-san to many cats in the city. Rinne had spent many nights building up Rinne's information network, and all the cat-sans are really friendly."

"I'm sure that Lady Rinne's furry friends must be lovely company," the usually calm and collected man responded with an uncharacteristically dopey smile, and the two of them continued their conversation in the background even as I returned to mine with Yseult.

"They are also both fans of classic Chinese literature, and like to restaurant-hop around town." Plus they were extra-attractive single young adults with presumably a lot of pent-up hormones, but that went without saying. "There are lots of reasons for them to like each other without any kind of fundamentally idiotic contract marriage malarkey, don't you agree?"

She didn't respond and looked at the subjects of our conversation with a difficult expression, the reality finally sinking in with her. She just needed one final push, so it was time to dial things back and soothe her wounded ego a bit.

"Listen, Yseult. I get it. You have your own circumstances. You wanted to marry Naoren to escape them, and when those plans fell through, you started looking for a way to salvage the situation and found a scapegoat in the process. I'm not going to hold a grudge over that; let he who has never engaged in motivated reasoning cast the first stone and all that. You jumped to a conclusion that fit your needs, but now you can see that you were mistaken. It happens. Water under the bridge. So, why don't we put all of that aside, and start over from the very beginning, and see if we can work something out that everyone can agree upon?"

My proposal was once again met with silence, which would've been tense if not for Elly's background commentary about my negotiation tactics and Judy diligently putting them all to electronic paper. That kind of thing had a way to dissipate tension.

After a short yet long while, Yseult flinched first and she buried her face in her palm.

"Goddamit. That stupid Scottish knucklehead was right all along. Now I look like a jackass."

"Now, now. As I said, we all make mistakes in the heat of the moment."

While I tried to sound as genial as possible, I secretly heaved a sigh of relief. Seeing her suddenly acting so casual (by a certain definition of the word) meant that the biggest hurdle in resolving this situation was already behind us.

"Lady Yseult." Naoren finally managed to tear his attention away from Rinne for five seconds and faced the Albion matriarch with a solemn yet gentle expression. "I'm afraid I cannot uphold the promise I made to you so many years ago. I will make sure to compensate you adequately."

"Oh, shut up, you," she scoffed, though her voice didn't have any venom in it anymore. "I don't need your pity, and I feel bad enough about this already, so let's just forget it. Let's forget it all."

Naoren slowly nodded, and there was a bubble of a kind of wistful, almost nostalgic atmosphere around them that I promptly popped.

"So, are we good now?"

"Yes. Yes, we're good," Yseult growled. Despite what she just said, her eyes told me she was still holding some antipathy towards me, but I wasn't going to call her out on it. Especially when she followed it up with a crestfallen sigh. "I guess I'll just have to take the hit to my reputation."

"You did make a scene at a public venue, so that's to be expected," I noted, but she shook her head.

"That's not what I'm talking about." She let out a soft groan and pointed at Rinne. "I challenged her to a duel in public. It might've been interrupted, but everyone saw my intent."

"Rinne isn't afraid to fight," Mountain Girl chimed in, saying the least helpful thing possible under the circumstances, but thankfully Yseult shook her head.

"It doesn't matter. There is no reason for us to duel now, so one of us has to officially declare that they withdrew from it. Since all of this happened because of me, I'll take the fall."

"Isn't that a bit overdramatic?" I asked absently, and Naoren looked at me like I just asked an idiotic question, so I amended, "Ah, right. Duels among Draconians are serious business, aren't they?"

"I believe duels are considered a serious matter no matter the people, but yes, they most certainly are."

"Rinne can just fight Yseult-san then," the dense monster huntress insisted, giving me a headache.

"Do you seriously want to do this?" In response to my question, she let out a grunt and nodded sharply, so I exhaled a sigh and turned to the others. "Fine. Hear me out. How about a tournament?"

There was a long, pregnant silence in the air, followed by my dear assistant rising to her feet with a clatter of her chair and putting a hand on my forehead.

"Chief, are you all right? Do you have a fever?"

"Do you need to lie down?" Elly played along, looking genuinely concerned.

"Oh, ha, ha." I gently removed Judy's hand from my head and pushed her back into her seat. "Very funny, but I'm serious. Listen, the guys in the Draconic Council have been talking my ears off about holding another bloody tournament to 'foster understanding among the clans' and 'unify the younger generation in the pursuit of martial arts' and other balderdash like that. Let's hit two birds with one stone." I pointed a thumb at myself. "I'm planning to put together a special training camp during the upcoming spring break for my friends and allies, so I'll be busy with that. In the meantime, you…" This time, I pointed an index and Naoren, "… will organize a tournament somewhere out of my sight, where you two…" Now it was a pair of finger-guns aimed at Rinne and Yseult, "… can have a public exhibition match, and no matter who wins, the grudge will be settled. Everybody wins. How does that sound?"

"It… is somewhat sudden, but I think it should be a wise course of action," Naoren gave his tacit approval to my ad-hoc plan, and Yseult looked receptive as well.

"That… would at least blunt the majority of the gossip, and…" She glanced at our resident cat-girl, and let out a soft hum. "I admit, I was looking forward to a match against you."

"Rinne is the same."

The two of them were suddenly surging with fighting spirit. As in, if we were in a manga or anime, this would've been the point where the two of them would get a two-page spread or still-frame with harsh shading and the image of a stylized tiger and dragon behind them, which… Holy crap! It actually fit the feline and draconic theme, didn't it? Anyhow, this wasn't the right time for this, so I loudly cleared my throat.

"Leave that for the day of the exhibition match, would you?"

"Ah, yes, Leonard-dono," Rinne apologized and withdrew her fighting spirit, though her cat ears were still twisted to the side which meant… aggression? Probably. As I said, I wasn't a catologist, so I couldn't read these things well.

"You're right. I should focus my energies elsewhere, for the time being." Yseult let out a tired sigh and leaned back on her chair. "I guess I'll have to start shopping for a man soon."

"Why?" Rinne blurted out, head cocked to the side, and the Draconian lady sent her a disparaging look in return.

"Because if I'm not marrying Naoren, it means I need to find a different husband."

"Can't you just make a contract with—?"

"Mountain Girl!" I called out in a hurry, startling everyone at the table. "One more word, and I'm cutting your free snack budget, understood?"

"… Yes, Leonard-dono…"

Her ears drooped, and she clearly didn't understand why I exploded at her like that, but I didn't care to elaborate. I faced Yseult, asking the first thing that came to mind to move the conversation away from any more potential contract marriage plots.

"Aren't you a bit too blasé about this whole thing?"

She let out a strange sound, something between a scoff and a stifled laugh.

"Being one of the Speakers of the Council and interacting with our kind, I figured you would've already realized that when it comes to relationships, the Dracis are an exception among the Draconian families, not the rule." She folded her arms and continued in a hushed voice. "The blood of Albion is not as thick as the blood of Dracis, and our prosperity has been on the decline for centuries. As the current matriarch of the family, it's my duty to find a partner who would strengthen our bloodline or provide economic and political ties to other families. Such is the norm when it comes to marriage amongst our kin; love and affection have little to do with it." She abruptly paused, and levelled a confounded gaze at Rinne's ears again, as if she just connected the dots. "Wait. She has some phantasmal heritage, doesn't she?"

"Rinne is one-fifth Neko," she insisted, but Yseult didn't go into the logistics of that and turned to Naoren instead.

"We have already found a solution," he reassured her with a smile, and quickly explained the plan to raise Xiao as the next Feilong clan head, allowing him not to care about the whole silly blood-purity thing.

"I'm… glad to hear that you've worked things out, but as I said, it's not an option for me. We don't have any true dragon ancestors in our midst to reinvigorate our bloodline. If only there was a way…"

Ah, dammit. That was way too good of a segue to ignore, but I was saving this revelation for another day. What to do, what to do?

…

Oh, screw it! I already had a hard time keeping this to myself, so I might as well just get it out of my system.

"Actually," I interjected, assuming my patented mastermind pose by tenting my fingers and adopting a harmless but unfathomable smile. "There is a way."

"A way to… reinvigorate bloodlines?" Naoren asked back, making sure he didn't mishear or misunderstand what I just said.

"Exactly. My Research Division, using the data acquired from a certain individual with unique properties, has developed a way to permanently strengthen and refine Draconian characteristics."

Needless to say, that individual was Josh. The whole premise was based on the idea that, as the universal 'chosen one', he had the capability to fulfil the Draconians' prophecy about restoring their bloodlines and bringing them closer to true dragons. We just had to reverse-engineer it, and while that sounded simple on paper, it was anything but that. Thankfully, it was none of my problem, because I had people for these kinds of things.

"Since when?" Elly blurted out in surprise, and I flashed a grin at her.

"It's a recent breakthrough. Did you think I was funding the Applied Biology Workshop of our Research Division just to look pretty and make mini-shoggoths?"

"Excuse me, could you repeat that?"

Yseult sounded as stumped as expected, so I obliged.

"Mini-shoggoth. His name is Pudding-kun, and if you get past his appearance, he's a pretty smart and affectionate guy."

"No, I don't think Lady Yseult meant that part," Naoren chimed in, a hand fervently adjusting his glasses. "You say you've developed a way to bolster fading Draconian bloodlines?"

"Not just the fading ones. It should be universally applicable, though clinical trials have yet to be started. My researchers are confident it would work though."

"If that's true then… All Draconian clans would be indebted to you for the rest of time," Yseult muttered in a daze, drawing a chuckle out of me.

"I'm just balancing the scales," I said with my best mysterious mastermind impression, and I wasn't lying.

Between the Celestials getting Deus back, and the Magi having their Conduit of the Grimoire, it was only fair that the Draconians would get their prophecy fulfilled in a fashion as well.

"But more importantly, this means that you really don't have to stress so much about the whole blood-purity thing. It's already a bit of an iffy tradition if you ask me, so it's best we get rid of it as soon as possible."

"If what you're saying is true then… you're probably right," Yseult agreed on autopilot, her eyes glazed over as she was still digesting the information.

I thought that was the end of it, but then Elly suddenly startled us all by exclaiming, "And that was the clinch! You see? I told you Leo is great at negotiating!"

"Are you sure it was a negotiation tactic and not just the Chief's penchant for dropping big reveals at the last second for the sake of drama?"

"No, listen. It was too well-timed for that. I tell you, Leo's a natural!"

Thus, one grand misunderstanding was cleared up today, and a new one was already taking root right under my nose. Just an average day in the life of Leonard S. Dunning.