The Simulacrum

~Chapter 157~ Part 1

"Chief, please stop. You're smothering me."

"I'm sorry Dormouse. I'm afraid I can't do that," I joked and hugged the girl sitting in my lap even tighter.

"We're in public. If you don't stop, I'll…"

"Hate me for an unspecified amount of time?" I ventured a guess, earning me a soft huff.

"No. That would be too predictable. I'll sulk." She glanced over her shoulder and added, "And you wouldn't like me when I'm sulky."

"Will you turn into the Incredible Sulk?"

"Maybe."

"Well, we can't have that, can we?"

I loosened my hug a bit but didn't let her go just yet. She no longer complain though, so I figured it was a nice compromise. Like that, the two of us relaxed on the sunbed overlooking the reddening afternoon sky reflected on the still waters of Elysium. It was a cosy, peaceful kind of silence that lasted exactly until a certain someone skipped over to our side with a grin.

"Like, look what we have here? Hi, lovebirds!" Sahi exclaimed with a Chesire Cat grin. She was still in her colourful swimsuit, her wavy hair un-braided and hanging damply on her shoulders, and she was looking at us with a doting, saccharine stare. "You're, like, totally cute. Oh, the beauty of youth!"

"Careful. Your age is showing," I jested, and her expression immediately turned pouty.

"Like, age is just a number! The only thing that matters is what's inside!"

"Isn't that something only strange people on the internet say?" Judy muttered and glanced at me. "Chief? Should I be worried about her?"

"Maaaybe? I mean, she is hanging out with armband guy a lot, and considering the age gap…"

"La-la-la! I'm not listening!" Sahi yelled while plugging her ears. "This is so lame! Call me when you stop being lame!"

"Oh, fine." I rolled my eyes and gestured for her to pipe down. "Is there anything you wanted from us?"

She finally pulled her fingers out of her ears and looked at me funny, as if what she just did wasn't weird and silly at all.

"Like, why do you think I want something?"

"I know you well enough to notice that just from the way you're looking at me."

"I'm not sure I'm happy about that," Judy chimed in, so I ruffled her hair a bit. She got the memo and stopped grumbling.

"Well, like, fine," the brown girl huffed and puffed and folded her arms. "Like, I just wanted to ask you if we can play volleyball on the beach. We could totally hold a tournament and stuff, you know?"

I waited for her to continue, but she was looking at me expectantly. Was that the whole question?

"Is there a reason why you couldn't?"

While my response was rhetorical, she took it literally.

"Because we don't have, like, a net? And other stuff?"

"Such as a ball," Judy chimed in, and Sahi snapped her finger with dramatic flair.

"Well, doy? We totally need that too!"

To be honest, I was already expecting something like this to come up. Beach volleyball was a pretty common trope when it came to beach episodes, so I made some preparations ahead of time. I was just about to tell her about them, but our conversation was interrupted by Angie suddenly swooping down from the sky and landing next to our sunbed.

"Guys! I've got an idea!" she exclaimed right away, only to stop when she took a closer look at us. Her lips soon parted into a giddy grin. "Wow! Someone's being really affectionate today, aren't they?"

"I'm always affectionate," I retorted and stroked Judy's hair with a determined frown, much to the Celestial girl's amusement.

"Hehe. I wonder if Elly will get jealous."

"Nah, she never gets jealous," I responded on autopilot, only for my dear assistant to give me a sideways glance over her shoulder.

"That was as close to the setup of a template subversion joke as it could get."

I wanted to dismiss her with a wave of my hand, but lo and behold…

"Hey, Leo! Guess what, we—?" The princess landed next to us, her bare feet hitting the sand so hard it wouldn’t have surprised me if she left a crater in her wake. She was wearing a bright red single-piece swimsuit that not only had an open back, but also open sides to show off the red scales on her waist and hips, as well as a generous cleavage window. It was one of those 'only held in place by the PG-13 rating and maybe double-sided tape' kind of outfits, but it certainly emphasized her figure, and it remained well-attached so far, so I couldn't complain. She seemed really excited at first, only to freeze up the moment she noticed the girl on my lap. "Hey! Judy's getting spoiled! Me too!"

My lovely assistant gave me another meaningful look, and I had no choice but to say, "Okay, so she rarely gets jealous. And only about things like this."

I also had to wonder why both she and Angie only noticed Judy after landing. Maybe it had something to do with the large parasol next to us? Speaking of which, Elly realized that there wasn't enough space for her on our sun-bed, let alone my lap, so she quickly dragged another one over, put away her wings, and then laid down next to us and pulled my free arm around her before resting her head on my shoulder. It was only then that she paused and glanced up at me.

"Wait, why was Judy getting spoiled in the first place?"

I almost wanted to tell her I could spoil my fiancées any time I wanted, but my dear assistant beat me to it.

"The Chief is being extra-affectionate today because I executed our anti-harem countermeasures well."

That wasn't entirely accurate, but I didn't argue, especially since Angie was mimicking checking a non-existent watch on her wrist, so I gestured for her to continue her previous train of thought.

"Right! You know, I just had this great idea! Actually, it was more like Grandpa Deus's idea, but I made it better!" She flashed a proud grin and spread her arms. "You see, there used to be this thing. Grandpa Deus says it was for training or something, but it's essentially like badminton, but up in the air! It sounds awesome!"

"Ah, right! That's what I wanted to tell you about!" Elly raised her head from my shoulder and stared at me from up close, visibly excited. "We just need some rackets and shuttlecocks, or maybe some magic balls that fly really well, and…"

"Like, hold your horses, gals!" Sahi stepped up and held out her palms. "I got here first, and like, I already asked Leonard for volleyball stuff! First come, first served!"

"What? That's not how it works!" Angie argued back with a huff.

"But, like, wouldn't it make more sense to play volleyball on the beach than whatever that lame game is you're talking about?"

"It's not lame! And we can play volleyball any time we want, but we can only play this game in Elysium!"

"Bah, gag me with a spoon! Like, you're talking as if Critias has a bunch of beaches! Where else can we play volleyball if not here?"

"Anywhere! If you really wanna, you can play it in the school gymnasium or something!"

"But that totally misses the point! It's, like, beach volleyball! BEACH!"

"Who are you calling a bi—?!"

Just as the argument was about to explode, a new voice entered the fray.

"What is this commotion all about?"

The class rep arrived at the scene as usual, appearing from our collective blind spot. She was still wearing the same sundress from before, and her magical Grimoire beads were sitting on the top of her head, like a pair of small birds perched on a tree after flying all day.

"Listen, Ammy! Sahi is being obnoxious!"

"I'm totally not! Listen, she wants to invent some new lame flying game that most of us, like, can't even play instead of just sticking to beach volleyball! You totally agree that it's lame, right?"

The class rep squinted at the ex-arch-mage.

"Why are you making a scene again?"

"Again? Like, are you still mad about what happened?" Ammy didn't respond right away, so Sahi rolled her eyes. "Don't be a Joanie! It was all in good fun, right? And this is totally important!"

While the argument raged on, I couldn't help but notice that, after voicing her initial support for Angie's idea, the princess remained conspicuously silent. When I looked at her and raised a brow, she pretty much read my mind and let out a soft giggle.

"You're going to get us equipment for both, right?"

"Well, yeah, that's the obvious solution."

"Then why aren't you telling them about it?" Judy asked in my lap, jerking her head towards the arguing trio… No, wait. Quintet.

"Come on, Neige! It will be fun!" Angie insisted, grabbing hold of my hapless Abyssal sister's arm the moment she came over to see what the ruckus was about.

"Like, listen to me, Penelope!" Meanwhile, the ex-arch-mage hijacked my other sister. "You can't fly, right? That means you can't play this flying lame-o-rama with your family, but you can play beach volleyball together!"

Considering the situation for a while, I shook my head.

"Nah, this is fine. It sounds like some low-stakes rivalry in the making, and that's good for drama. I'll tell them about it once they duked it out between each other first."

"I'm not convinced it's a good idea," Judy grumbled, so I hugged her a bit tighter and nuzzled against the back of her neck to divert her attention.

"Ah, right," Elly blurted out on the side, as if she just recalled something, and sat up. "You said Judy was getting spoiled because of the anti-harem thing, right? Did something happen?"

"I warned Eris Savir to stay away from the Chief," Judy stated with just a hint of pride in her deadpan voice. "The prep work paid off in full."

"You did way more than just that, Dormouse."

"Come on, don't leave me hanging! Give me the details!" Elly urged us, and my other girlfriend was all too happy to oblige.

It was a story I didn't need to hear again, as I'd already seen it. As for the disagreement about the games, the group had grown once again, with Mike and Pascal arriving late to the party and trying to support their respective… Wait. Were Sahi and armband guy dating? Or were they still in the UST phase? I never really looked into it, but I wouldn't have been surprised if they were going out, and while the whole age-gap thing was a bit weird, considering how many people I knew who didn't look their age, I just decided not to care and let them sort it out between each other.

By the by, speaking of apparent ages, I still couldn't believe that Savir was in her forties. She looked to be in her early thirties at worst, though I admit that this new knowledge made that single grey lock of hair she had make a lot more sense. Oh, and while we were at making sense…

"But why would she do something like that?" Elly echoed my sentiment, though her tone sounded more confused. Mine would've been just one hundred percent unadulterated exasperation.

The question itself remained valid no matter the tone though, so I was tempted to use Far Sight on her, but just a quick look showed that she was all alone in one of the bungalows, reading some reports and whatnot. Maybe she was trying to see if Judy's claim about owning the Celestial Intelligence Network's repository had any merit, maybe she wasn't. I couldn't tell at a glance, and since there was nothing else to see, I didn't linger for long.

Not that I could've done so anyway, because before Judy even had a chance to fully explain her encounter to Elly, everyone's attention was drawn to the newest arrival descending from the sky, taking a page out of the princess's handbook and landing with a solid impact. At least he did a classic heroic three-point-landing pose though. That counted for something. As for the identity of this newcomer…

"Oh, come on, man!" Josh exclaimed and threw his hands up with a scowl aimed right at yours truly. "When you said you had to leave to kiss your girlfriend, I didn't think you meant that literally!"

"What? I'm always literal."

"You never are!" he griped and crossed his arms defiantly. "We've been waiting for you all this time over there, and you were just lazing around here all this time!"

"You were waiting for me? Why?"

"Because you told us that you would be back!"

"… I didn't mean that literally. Sometimes you need to read between the lines, you know?"

Josh gave me the mother of all glares, but then he took a deep breath and addressed the girl on my lap.

"Judy, could you please give us some space? I'm gonna kick your boyfriend's ass."

However, before he could make good on his challenge, or I could get a word in, he was intercepted by her excited girlfriend and got dragged into the argument unfolding nearby.

"Josh, support! I need support!"

"Wait, what are you…? I said, wait, I'm still…!" Unable to contend with his childhood friend's insistence, he sent a look at me that said we weren't done yet, and finally let her pull him away.

Sooo… Yeah, I should probably apologize to him later. That was the mature thing to do. Unless he'd forget about it first and I could get away with it, which was the efficient thing to do. We'll see, I surmised and returned to Far Sight. While Savir was still alone, quickly cycling through my other marks in the proverbial neighbourhood made me notice that the other ex-directors were not only together, but also heading towards her direction.

I made a quick mental note about that, as I figured the situation might prove interesting later. The rest of this quick roll-call was less intriguing; my two sets of in-laws were playing with the Celestial kids while using the opportunity to sneakily question them about the state and culture of Elysium, Lord Barnabas was doing… something with a tool that kind of looked like a sextant, while Arnwald and Morgana were taking a romantic stroll along the shore at the far end of the beach. Good for them.

Meanwhile…

"You guys realize that this whole argument is kinda dumb, right?" Josh scoffed, raising a bunch of eyebrows around him. Shaking his head, he used both of his hands to point at us (or rather, probably just me). "These aren't mutually exclusive options. Just ask Leo to get you everything you need; we have a whole week to figure out the rest."

I couldn't help but notice the provocative way he was staring at me, so I figured I would let him have a small 'victory' here and let out a theatrical groan.

"Oh, fine," I grumbled, trying to sound suitably reluctant. "I really didn't want to bother with this, but since you put me on the spot, I guess I'll just arrange for everything you need. Give me a list later, or something."

Josh turned back to the small group with a triumphant 'You see?', looking like he just doused them in cold water. If I had to guess, they were so attached to their side that a simple compromise like that made them feel both unsatisfied and just a little silly. There was no point fighting over it anymore though, so tempers quickly cooled and everyone started discussing what equipment they actually needed. Except for one of the ringleaders, surprisingly enough.

"Leo? Did you seriously leave Josh behind like that?" Angie accused me with a pout, with her boyfriend standing beside her, arms crossed and trying not to look smugly vindicated.

I wasn't going to get away with this without an apology, was I?

"All right, all right. I'm sorry. I completely forgot about you because I was busy spoiling Judy for a job well done."

"Chief, please don't use me as a shield."

"I'm not. I'm only saying the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Scout's honour."

"That still doesn't mean you can just leave him at… erm…" Faltering, Angie turned to the guy at his side. "Where were you, anyway?"

"I asked Leo to show me the training grounds and get some practice done," Josh explained, sounding a bit sheepish all of a sudden.

"Oh, so that's why I couldn't find you anywhere! Mister Overachiever!"

She poked him in the side with her elbow, forcing Josh to back away.

"Hey, careful! I told you that you have a pointy elbow. It hurts when you do that."

"I don't have a pointy elbow! It's perfectly normal! Right, Leo?"

I blinked, feeling mildly whiplashed.

"Wait, you were just scolding me five seconds ago, and now you're asking for backup?"

"Those are two different things! Now, please tell this dunderhead that I have perfectly fine and cute elbows!"

"Asking someone else to lie for you isn't nice, you know?" Josh teased her, and when she tried to poke him again, she came away with a metallic clang and a hiss.

"O-Owie! What was that?" She exclaimed, but then after a beat her tone softened and she wondered aloud, "No, seriously, what's that? Where did you get it?"

She leaned closer to look at Josh's new armament, and he grinned like a well-fed cat, as if he had been planning to do something like this ever since he first got his hands on that shield.

"Leo arranged it for me. I've got a sword, too."

"Really? Where is—?" Before she could finish, Josh already produced his weapon from the storage enchantment. "Whoa! So cool! I wanna have one of those too!"

"A sword?" Elly blurted out in surprise, and the Celestial girl hastily shook her head.

"No, not that! A thingie that lets you store stuff! I wanna have one too!"

"Your bow is already compact, so you don't really need it," I pointed out, which resulted in a pout the size of the Rocky Mountains.

"But I still wanna!"

"Hello? Can we get back to the sword?" Josh sounded a bit impatient, and eventually his girlfriend gave up trying to pout me into submission and turned her attention to his weapon. "Look, it has a black blade. Neat, huh?"

The moment he unsheathed it, there was a hint of alarm on the Celestial girl's face, followed by a focused, almost pensive stare.

"That's…" She sounded like she had a hard time getting the words out, but after shaking her head, she tried again. "Grandpa Deus says it looks really familiar, but he can't remember where he saw it."

"It apparently belonged to one of the previous Archons' attendants, or bodyguards, or something. Maybe he remembers it from that time?"

"I dunno, but it's giving me goosebumps."

"I mean, it does look a bit scary, but listen." Josh made a few practice swings, and the blade made a strange whistling sound; not the kind you get from just cutting the air, but an almost melodious one. "And when I do this…" For his next demonstration, Josh hummed a solemn tune, and the whole blade was enveloped in the same kind of blue-ish aura his arm-blades had in the past. Not only that, but when he swung it again, this time it made a playful, almost tinkling series of musical notes. "It's so weird, right?"

"Y-Yeah…" Angie whispered, leaning closer to take a better look. "Grandpa Deus says he could swear he had seen it somewhere before…"

While the two of them were busy inspecting Josh's new weapon like it was a toy, Judy leaned back and whispered directly into my ear.

"Chief? Did you give Joshua a plot-sword?"

"No. That's the beauty of it," I whispered back with a smirk. "I just let him loose in an armoury, and he picked it himself. Peak protagonist behaviour, if you ask me."

"Are you sure?" Elly joined our hushed conversation, looking troubled. "Could it be that he picked it because you were expecting it?"

"A fair point," Judy agreed with a thoughtful hum. "Or it could be that the plot-sword came into existence just so that it can fulfil the trope you were expecting."

"Leo is the Narrative," Elly piled on, and I cut this line of thought short with a grunt.

"Come on, girls. Can we please not immediately try to blame every tropey development on me? It was bad enough when we were bogged down in looking for Narrative influence in everything; let's not replace it with an obsession with me-influence."

"But we already have an example of that happening with the romance story development," Judy pushed on, earning her a frown from me.

"What are you three whispering about?" Angie interrupted us, and I was all too happy to use it to move on.

"We're just talking about that I really need to look into where I can get volleyball and badminton equipment," I said, and gently nudged Judy off my lap and next to Elly. "In fact, I should probably get started right away! I'll be back in a minute!"

"I've already heard that today," Josh scoffed, but I ignored him, winked at the girls, and Phased… to my suite in the tower.

In truth, there was a different reason why I needed some space at the moment. Even while everything else was going on around me, I kept glancing at Savir's way, and the other two ex-directors were already by her side. So, I quietly sat down, closed my eyes, and cast my viewpoint into the living room of the beach house, where Tsephanyah just uttered an exasperated, "For goodness's sake, Eris. What were you thinking?"

That was a very good question. I couldn't wait to find out.